The Thirstday Hash, Emmits, 04/19/087 by Horn-E
Our hares were Assflac and Pardon My Flaps. I hate to admit it, but this was a pretty good trail. Damn, did I say that. Good beer stop with Killians. All right, the light beer at the finish sucked, but the Jameson’s babes were good.
We had eighteen hounds, good. We took off west, then north as this trail wound around the local area. We finally headed up Milwaukee, over the expressway and to a Back Check. I saw that one cuming. I found the trail heading east to Halsted and a Check. After spinning our wheels for a bit, Grateful Dick found the trail and we crossed back over the expressway and headed east. After some construction, and confusion, I think it was Happy Ass Grabber who found the trail to another Check at some tracks. Smell This and I were heading south on tracks when the trail was found heading east over the river. Here the hares managed to jack us around a bit before Man O’Whore found some trail heading south and further east to Orleans. Here we had another check and Or G and I followed Man O’Whore south and west. After some hidden marks, I found trail heading east and up some steps and south towards the river. We were led around the Holiday Inn and down to the lower level. The trail headed back towards Orleans. Now I’m smart and I spot this big loop and I head towards the steps from the lower level and I bring a bunch of SCBs with me. But at the steps, we couldn’t find marks. Suddenly as others arrive at the steps from below, they spot another Back Check. Damn. I wasn’t so smart after all. I heard the smart ass hare saying it worked perfectly. And it did, It suckered us all. From here the trail went back across the river and to a shot stop. I missed it as I missed the SS mark. I was on the other side of the street and I ended up in a big ass, dumb ass loop. I eventually caught up to the back of the pack and we headed towards Lake. The trail headed east and apparently to a Check at Wacker and Lake. But by then I saw the pack cuming back across the river on Randolph. And there was a short cut. Just like that, I was back near the front. They were running in two directions and I spotted a mark. But it didn’t go anywhere. I ran West, I ran South, I ran East, I ran back on trail. I finally found the Check I missed. Everybody else knew they were at a check, but you know how everybody yells out. By now, everyone was long gone and I had to find the trail alone. Not to bad and the splits were marked. Sometimes. I finally ran across some tracks and there they all were at the beer stop. Assflac came forth with a Killians and all was good. From here it was a short two blocks back to the bar where we took over the second floor.
Happy Ass Grabber led us in our circle. We were mostly in control except when Lempy Does Men from Dallas was shouting out. We had another visitor, Just Lori from Hawaii. We had one virgin. Now this guy is a keeper. He had a T-Shirt from a Testicle Festival. Not a hash shirt, but not bad. When we got to the Down Down portion of his song, we walked over to the wall, shoved someone aside, put his glass on the floor, did a hand stand against the wall, picked up his glass and drank it upside down. Well, done. Who else was there? Princess Labia, Mount Schwinga, Ernest Cumingway, Just Mary, Two Tickets To Pair Of Thighs, Flying Hooters, Just Tiffany, Just Mike, and Just Christine. We were later joined by two groupies, Chip ‘N Dale and Peterbilt. The Tale of the Trail The Bushman Hash, Forest Glen Woods 04/21/07 by Or-G as edited by Horn-E. Actually, Or G, I only had one minor correction. It is the Big Dog Earth Day next week. I just came up with the idea last year and gave it to Rear Loader, the Big Dog himself.
They’re Real and they’re Spectacular! The blanket of flowers that covered the floor the forest floor were beyond description. There were literally millions of tiny yellow flowers. I just hope that they are still there for the Bushman (BIG DOG) Earth Day Hash next week so more Hashers can enjoy this gift of nature.
I ran to the Hash and as I crossed the Forest Glen grove I was looking for the cast of usual Bushman suspects. (Horn-E, Lifa, Rear Loader, Easy, Spotted). As I got closer all I saw beside a few teens was a Yeti coming out of the woods. Upon further inspection I realized it was Horn-E. We talked the usual Hash talk. As start time approached Horn-E brought out custom, personalized Bushman bandanas as perks for those Hounds that had at least 5 runs.
on chalk talk and off I went. Flour on trees and the ground were easy to see even for this blind Hound. Did I say easy? It was until I hit the checks. Checks in the woods truly can go 360 degrees and the Hare did a good job of confusing this Hound. The trail was all in the woods, even though these are small woods the Hare was able to cover a lot of ground and was able to avoid the all too common running of streets and alleys. There was a river crossing over a log jam. I did not relish the idea of getting wet and took my time crossing. Once across, there was a check. Looking in all directions for trail the Hare and I spotted something red in the water and thought what are the chances? Yes it was the Red Dog stuffed animal from Lower Wackoff’s mid winter Hash out of the Gladstone. I fished it out, pictures were taken and after a few laughs it was back on trail. The trail continued to confuse this Hound but the patient Hare let me find trail each time I was off trail. It wasn’t a long trail but it was interesting. Great day, nice weather, beautiful scenery, a few laughs, good circle what more could you ask for at a Hash other than a couple of more Hounds to help out at the splits and checks.