Anthrax X
The Great Chicago Anthrax Scare & Santa Hat Run
Dec 15th-18th, 2011
Because once every so often a hare does something so stupid that the entirety of Lincoln Park gets shut down.
This year the Chicago Hash House Harriers are pulling out all of the stops in order to provide you with a truly memorable hashing experience in celebration of the Tenth Annual Great Chicago Anthrax Scare & Santa Hat Run. Working in conjunction with Thirstday H3, Bushman H3, and Second City H3, the Chicago Hash House Harriers are proud to present four days, six trails, and one great city.
Wednesday – Dec 14th, 6pm – Wingsday & Chicago H3 Drinking Practice – Pay As You Go
Wednesday is the roughest day of the week, right? Not with $0.25 wings and $1 cans of PBR it isn’t. We’ll be meeting up at 6pm at our usual haunt of O’Malley’s West (2249 N. Lincoln Ave), but it won’t be just any other Wingsday – our old friend Beer Spill Valdez will be back in town for one last night of debauchery before he continues on his way to California. Everyone come on out to say goodbye (again) to our former RA, and if you’re lucky there will be a few karaoke ballads sung your way.
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View Larger Map Thurday – Dec 15th, 7pm – Thirstday H3 #421 – $8 –
Start your weekend early and join the Thirstday Hash House Harriers for their regularly scheduled run. An enjoyable hashing experience is guaranteed, as Thirstday is known for their pursuit of “Urban Shiggy” an discovering great destinations just off of the beaten path, and you’ll have two veteran hares in Snatchsquatch and Taste the Rainbow taking you through the historic Hyde Park. Participants are suggested to catch up on their Chicago history by reading Devil In The White City, as that’ll help familiarize you with the mythology of the neighborhood.
Friday – Dec 16th, 7pm – Chicago H3 #1758 – Anthrax Pre-Lube/Pub Crawl Trail – Pay As You Go –
Lifa & O’Shitty Runch will be your hares for this romp through the historic Logan Square neighborhood (and current “it” neighborhood for Chicago’s hipster population) – for the walkers of the group this will be a traditional Pub Crawl, but for those who wants to witness the Winter Wonderland that is Chicago, Lifa & O’Shitty Runch are assured to provide a trail with multiple beer stops (not just at the bars). Participants are expected to pay as you go, but we are working with local bars to get the best drink specials possible for all of you. We’ll be starting the whole thing off at Green Eye Lounge (2403 W. Homer St), which is right underneath the Western Blue Line stop, so it is especially easy to get to.
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View Larger Map Saturday – Dec 17th, Noon – Bushman H3 #77 – $5 –
Think Chicago is just streets, alleys, and city parks? Think again! The Cook County Forest Preserves offer an excellent opportunity for shiggy and most are within reach of Chicago’s excellent public transit system. Horn E will be your hare for this trail, and the super-cheap $5 hash cash will get you a unique perspective on hashing in Chicago. Transportation to Anthrax’s main event will be provided for all of those who wish to run both trails.
Here are the exact directions to this trail (according to Horn E): Take the blue line to Jefferson Park or the red line to Berwyn and then take the foster bus. Go to Cicero and then walk north about one block. The entrance to the woods is on the right/east side of the street and is a road into the woods and over the expressway. Then go into the north parking lot. Driving, take I 94 north to Foster and take it west bound to Cicero, just over the expressway. Turn right and go north one block and take the first right into the woods and over the bridge and then go north. Coming from the north, take I 94 south to Edens, a gently slopping road down to Cicero. Go about one block and there will be a entrance into the woods on the left, over a bridge and then go to your left at the fork. Taking Metra, get off at Forest Glen and walk directly east to Cicero. This should be just about at the entrance to the woods. Follow above directions.
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Saturday – Dec 17th, 3pm – Chicago H3 #1759 – Anthrax X – $30-$50 –
This is it, the main event.
Join us in donning Hazmat suits and Santa hats as we run around the Lincoln Park and Old Town neighborhoods of Chicago. We’ll have trails for both runners and walkers as veteran Chicago hare R Tard E is joined by Licker Leash and WJew40 for what will certainly be a especially shitty trail (rumor has it that they’ve been planning this trail for months, so you wankers better try extra hard to spoil it for them).
Your rego gets you a Hazmat suit, an event tag, an event bag, hours of unlimited booze at Burton’s Place in a private room, and an epic circle RAed by Chicago Legend Calvin Klein. Rego early to save yourself some cash and ensure that you’ll get the giveaways.
As an added bonus, we’ll have Anthrax hoodies for sale for the low price of $20 (image at right). These are not included in your rego, as we decided to give away bags but then found out there was a huge demand for another, more traditional, give away. There may be other shirts, and the new patches and keychains may be in by then as well, so bring your wallets and stock up on Haberdashery – they make great stocking stuffers for your Hash Mistress.
Sunday – Dec 18th, 11am – Chicago H3 #1760 – Anthrax Hangover – $8 –
From a the classic hash bar Hidden Shamrock (2723 N. Halsted) we have a group of super-secret hares planning a trail that is sure to wake you up, work off your hangover, and make you thirsty for more booze. Trail is probably going to be especially shitty and circle will probably be especially long, so bring all of your favorite songs. I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.
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View Larger Map Sunday – Dec 18th, 2pm – Second City H3 #367 – Christmas Party Hash – $10 –
We turn the keys over to our friends at Second City for the final hash of the weekend. This will be an exceptionally long trail, which will be all the better for your lingering hangovers. A white elephant gift exchange and pot luck dinner are expected to follow afterwards. An excellent way for you to wind down after a hectic weekend.
Wednesday – Dec 21st, 6pm – HO Hash – 8 Bars of Hanukkah / Festivus Pub Crawl – Pay As You Go –
Anthrax officially closes up shop on Sunday, but that doesn’t mean that the fun has to end. Our buddies EZ On The Ass and International Virgin at the HO Hash (Holiday Orphans) are putting together a second pub crawl to close out the week and get you ramped up for the holidays. Things will kick off early at The Atlantic Bar & Grill (5062 N. Lincoln Ave) and will run late into the night, so if your liver hasn’t taken enough punishment already be sure to come out for a night to remember.
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Coming in from out of town? Not to worry. There are plenty of options for getting to and from Chicago. You can always fly in O’Hare (ORD) or Midway (MDW), take the Amtrack in to Union Station, take the Mega Bus, or you could even carpool up with your closest hash friends.
Need crash space? Don’t worry about that either – shoot the Chicago H3 a message either in the comments, in our Yahoo! Group, on our Facebook page, via e-mail, or over our twitter, and we’ll do our best to set you up with a welcoming hasher. If you don’t want to stay with hasher, that’s cool too – the Chicago H3 suggests finding a room at the Days Inn Lincoln Park or at the Chicago Getaway Hostel, but be advised that no group rate has been procured from these institutions.
Still not convinced? Let’s see who else is coming:
Hash Name Home Hash
Snatchsquatch Chicago H3
Fistful of Pricks Chicago H3
Lifa Chicago H3
Chicken Stiffer Chicago H3
Salty Gash Chicago H3
Mt. Schwiiinga Chicago H3
R Tard E Chicago H3
Lick’er Leash Chicago H3
WJew40 Chicago H3
Glory Hole Chicago H3
Hoosier Daddy Chicago H3
Creamin’ And Screamin’ Chicago H3
Four Score In The Back Door Chicago H3
Uploader Chicago H3
AssCapades Chicago H3
Dark Side of the Poon Chicago H3
Sin Calzones Chicago H3
Just Lauren Chicago H3
Free Mustache Rides Big Hump H3
It’s Too Soft Waukesha H3
Crop Duster Chicago H3
Goat Flow, Opa! Chicago H3
Taste The Rainbow Chicago H3
Way Too Much Jism Thirstday H3
Plattypussy Thirstday H3
Mad Hatter St. Louis H3
10 Dix With Wings Chicago H3
Horn E Chicago H3
Drill In My Box Chicago H3
Finger Pricking Good Little Rock H3
Significant Udders Sacremento H3 T
wo Hair Nets Chicago H3
Just Jon Chicago H3
Malört My Anus Chicago H3
W’All Bang’er Chicago H3
Just Ehhhh Chicago H3
Double Fister IndyScent H3
Kuntfidential Source IndyScent H3
Corn Star Chicago H3
Just Jessica Thirstday H3
Just Jordan Chicago H3
Just Tim Chicago H3
Soggy Deposits Chicago H3
Pool Job Chicago H3
69 Cent Man Chicago H3
Return to Gender Madison H3
Rotten DC Road Whores H3
Down On Your Knees Blooming Fools H3
O’Shitty Runch Chicago H3
Shitalian Stallion Chicago H3
Just Mike Thirstday H3
The Dark Kunt Chicago H3
Stab ’em & Slab ’em Chicago H3
Just Mark Chicago H3
Mudsucker Chicago H3
Dr. Fudgeknuckles Chicago H3
2:19 from Chicago Big Hump H3
Fuck Me On Porpoise Chicago H3
Back Door County Chicago H3
Ginger Snatch Chicago H3
Tumbleweed of Pubes Chicago H3
Ballsalotopus Chicago H3
Poultry Fucker Chicago H3
Soul Taco Chicago H3
International Virgin Big Dogs H3
M’Alice Vancouver H3
Bad Decisions DC Road Whores H3
Malort My Anus Chicago H3
Just Russ VIRGIN RUN!
Little Trojan Annie Chicago H3
String Theory Thirstday H3
Furry Spice Chicago H3
Roll On DCH4
Every Other Dick Hillbilly H3
Just Hattie Chicago H3
Just Louis Chicago H3
Just Dave Chicago H3
Just Janet Chicago H3
That Thing That Vibrates Chicago H3
Fag Whore Sin City H3
Smell This Thirstday H3
Just Deepak VIRGIN RUN!
Calvin Klein Chicago H3
Ice Princess Chicago H3
Just Bonnie Chicago H3
Prick of the Litter Music City H3
Elmo’s Fuck Buddy Music City H3
Prick of the Litter Music City H3
Smell This Thirstday H3
Just Deppak VIRGIN RUN!
Hood Whorenament Chicago H3
Mr. Poopy Pants Cleveland H3
Just Preston Chicago H3
Man-O-Whore Thirstday H3
Chipendale Chicago H3
5 Hole Failure Thirstday H3