Chicago Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash:  2/3/08
Hares: Just Stephanie, Just I LEAN & Just Tyrone

HASHERS- Horn-e, Mouthful of Meat, Super Stuffer, R-Tard-E, Uploader, Just Rob, Just Tyrone, Just Molly, Just Pat, Chicken Stiffer, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Lifa, Magnetic Muff, Just Seri, Wrapper Snatcher
VIRGINS= 0
VISTORS=3
TOTAL HASHERS= 21

Today the GM had a snow day so I took care of some business downtown, and on the El I ran into HOT PANTS.  He seems to be doing well and hopefully will be at the hash on Thursday.  This past Sunday we saw JUST I LEAN and JUST STEPHANIE on her 2nd hash actually hare.  The trail was tough to lay due to the very wet conditions and heavy foot traffic.   Even the colored marks were being removed by the heavy foot traffic but the pack prevailed and found the beer stop. 

3 RING CERVIX was near the front of the trail most of the time and many of the male hashers liked to watch that hot assed harrierette up there.  LIFA seemed to play the part of the good wise old father guiding the pack towards its destination.  UPLOADER ran like this shit was nothing due to the fact he has seen more snow in the past year then we have for the last four, damn Madison transplant.  3 RING CERVIX was all worried like an expectant mom when her two little babies on trail TOKEN SUCKER and WRAPPER SNATCHER didn’t make it to the beer stop on time. 

It seems that JUST TYRONE had to use his GPS navigation system to find the beer!! The trail seriously was wet and good, and people with small brain cells like JUST ROB and HORN-E ran it in their shorts?  Not only were they cold but also their legs must have been soaked?  Overall we had a great time out there with all hashers accounted for and then we made it back to the bar and eventual ITS TOO SOFTS place to watch the SUPER BOWL with 98 million of our closet friends, and who said football is dumb?  WE did make it back to the bar and TJ the owner of the bar had $5 pitchers waiting for us.  CALVIN and BATTERIES were too tired to run after playing kickball in the morning with 10 other hashers?!?!?! 

When we got back to the bar CALVIN did his thing in the circle and called out those non-running people like PUSSY PATROL and JUST SERI for their laziness.  WE also had a small titty war between BATTRIES and our visitors from SAN DIEGO.  SUPER STUFFER was the only one who voted this night, don’t worry folks you will have your chance next week to vote.  

WE also had 10 people sign up for the Hash Ball so get your money in before the price goes up this weekend.  MAGNETIC MUFF for some reason never got the nerve to do a naked run today although I’m sure she would have found some takers?  Mercifully CALVIN ended the circle so the hash could retire to the PARTY CENTRAL to watch the game. 

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

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Our friend TJ is giving the hash $5 domestic draft pitchers until just before kickoff when the bar’s usual Super Bowl package kicks in which should give us plenty of dinking time before the game. For those who have never been, this is not some obscure dive bar near City Limits but a mainstream Big Ten classic in the heart of Lincoln Park/Lakeview.

SUPER BOWL XLII will be 5:30 that evening after the hash so currently no plans to change the start time of hash as of yet and the NSA’s Echelon network has picked up several intercepts in the Middle East about a possible Super Bowl party after the hash.

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Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, hoof it three blocks South to George and two blocks East to Halsted or take Halsted 8 bus to the bar from wherever you’re at.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, take the Belmont #77 bus East to Halsted, hoof it four blocks South to the bar.

Driving

Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & George whist hastening the arrival of the day when farms around Chicago will abandon wheat, corn and soybeans in favor of date palms, pineapples and sugar cane. Of course the places that currently cultivate these crops will then be slightly cooler than the Equator of Mercury in the Summer.

Best bet is to find a meter on Halsted that you don’t have to feed on Sundays or hit the side streets, just be aware they’re all Zone 838 so you have to move your car by 6pm.