Category Archives: Hash Ball
Chicago HHH Hash Ball 2013 Saturday 2/23 – 8:00PM @ Big Brick’s Pizza
Hash Cash:
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
Driving
Chicago HHH Hash Ball 2012 Saturday 2/25 – 7:00PM @ The Scout
Chicago HHH Hash Ball 2012
Saturday 2/25 – 7:00 PM
Venue: The Scout – 1301 S. Wabash Ave
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Hash Cash: $30 until 2/19, $35 at the door
From da GM: As another hash year draws to a close it is time to look back and reflect on all of the good times that we had in 2011. Our theme this year will be “Roaring Twenties” so come in your best gangster or flapper outfit and take advantage of a reserved space, an excellent drink package, and even some appetizers to stuff your face with. We’ll be announcing the winners of the CH3 elections and handing out all of the year-end awards that you’ve come to know and love, so be sure to be there. You can pay either Snatchsquatch, Two Girls, One Cupcake, or Hood Whorenament in person or rego online via paypal with the link above.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Take the Red Line to Roosevelt. Walk East a block and then South along Wabash. Bar is on the corner of 13th and Wabash.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Take the Blue Line into the Loop. Transfer to the Red Line and take that to Roosevelt. Walk East a block and then South along Wabash. Bar is on the corner of 13th and Wabash.
Driving 
Hop in your hooptie and cruise to 13th and Wabash. There’s likely to be more parking the further South you go.
2011 Hash Ball 2.26.11 – 7pm @ Kirkwood
Hey Wanks!
Here are the details for this year’s Hash Ball:
Who: CH3, et al
What: Come out and enjoy food and drink with your fellow hashers as we welcome a new GM. Dress as your favorite TV star or dress to impress. We’ve got a $35 package that includes ALL draft beer, well liquor, wine, soda AND some select bottomless apps.
When: February 26, 7-1o p.m.
Where: Kirkwood Bar & Grill (2934 N. Sheffield – corner of Sheffield & Oakdale)
Why: Just any old excuse to get together without having to worry about some pesky trail.
How to pay: Either in person (at a hash or at the door) or by paypal. Add $2 for paypal fees.
How (to get there)
CTA – Brown Line to Wellington, walk west to Sheffield then down a block or so or Red Line to Belmont and walk West to Sheffield and three blocks South to Oakdale. The bar is on the west side of the street at the corner of Sheffield & Oakdale. You can also take the Diversey 76 bus East to Sheffield and walk three blocks North to Oakdale.
Driving – I don’t recommend it because a) you’ll be drinking and b) it’s Lincoln Park on Saturday night.
Chicago 2010 Hash Ball – Sat 3/6 @ Purple Haze
Hare(s): CH3 MisManageMent
Venue: Purple Haze – 3415 N Clark
Hash Cash: $40 at the DOOR!!
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Tale of the Non-Trail: Chicago 2008 Hash Ball – 3.1.2008 @ Janina's Gin Mill & Saloon
Here’s a pic of Rent a Virgin and Virgin Banger showing the two sides of Chicago. Pix are on nav bar to the left!
Hare(s): CH3 MisManageMent & the 2008 Hash Ball Special Events Committee
Venue: Janina’s Gin Mill & Saloon – 3457 N. Milwaukee
Hash Cash: A measly $35 at the door, if available.
Doors open 7:30pm!
It’s real simple, dinner, drinking and debauchery!
Come dressed as anything to do with Chicago – Let your imagination run wild!!! Or just dress to impress.
Registration includes grub, beer, (Milk My Yak will be supplementing our kegs of Macrobrew with his own homebrew recipes, and as a bonus you are allowed to bring your own wine) plenty of drunk dancing and general hash fun.
Whooz cuming so far?
Dr. Poolittle – TH3
Just Tracie – TH3
Just Carole – Somewhere in Colorado
Just Nettie – CH3
Just Angelle – CH3
Hot Lips- GRH3 GM
Just Mike- GRH3
Calvin Klein- CH3
Batteries not Included- CH3
Odor Eater- CH3
Rotten Whore- CH3
Mount Schwiinga- CH3
Chicken Stiffer- CH3
Just Martin- ???
Spotted Cock- CH3
Magnetic Muff-CH3
Virtually Hung- CH3
Horn-E- CH3
Milk My Yak- CH3
Barks on all Fours- CH3
LIfa- CH3
SUper Stuffer- Ch3
Mouthful of meat- CH3
Ballsalotpus- CH3
R-Tard-E – CH3
Just Rob- CH3
Just Stef- CH3
Just I LEAN- CH3
PACKhER ARSE- CH3
Mudsucker- CH3
Its Too Soft- CH3
Ez on the ASS- CH3
Just Tom- CH3
Flying Hooters- CH3
Are they Real- CH3
One Handed Typist-CH3
Just Jenn- CH3
No Penetration- CH3
Wrapper Snatcher- SDH3—–> CH3 good trade
Virgin banger- CH3
Renta Virgin- CH3
Click here to download the rego form in PDF format
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Addison, Addison #152 bus West to Kedvale (2 blks East of Milwaukee and 1 blk East of Keeler), hoof it two blocks South to the bar which is at the corner of Kedvale and Milwaukee.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Addison, hoof it West to Kedvale (2 blks East of Milwaukee and 1 blk East of Keeler), hoof it two blocks South to the bar which is at the corner of Kedvale and Milwaukee, or just take the Milwaukee #56 bus to Milwaukee & Kedvale.
Driving 
Hop into your hooptie whist contributing to increased desertiziation of Sub-Saharan Africa and cruise to the corner of Milwaukee & Kedvale. On-street parking is about as plentiful as intoxicated snowmobilers in Wisconsin this time of the year.
We rented out their backroom so we can bring in all the food and beer we want and trust me we will avail ourselves admirably of that privilege and it will be GLORIOUS. There will be a DJ and plenty of drunk dancing by the end of the night. Anyone caught taking pictures of It’s Too Soft dancing or smooching will join Jimmy Hoffa under the North end zone of Giants Stadium.
This is what happens when you mix too much beer, too much food and too much good times with the Chicago Hash House Harriers. BTW – Chicken Stiffer was re-enlisted for yet another tour of duty as GM!
HASH BALL 3/1/08
ATTENDEES=49
Just Carole, Just Nettie-, Just Angelle- CH3, Hot Lips- GRH3 GM, Just Mike- CH3??, Calvin Klein- CH3 ,Batteries not Included- CH3 , Odor Eater- CH3, Rotten Whore- CH3, Mount Schwiinga- CH3, Chicken Stiffer- CH3, Just Martin- ???, Spotted Cock- CH3, Magnetic Muff-CH3, Virtually Hung- CH3, Horn-E- CH3, Milk My Yak= CH3, Barks on all Fours- CH3, Lifa- CH3, Super Stuffer-Ch3, Mouthful of meat- CH3, Ballsalotpus-CH3, R-Tard-E – CH3, Just Rob- CH3, Just Stef- CH3, Just I LEAN- CH3, PACKhER ARSE- CH3, Mudsucker- CH3, Its Too Soft- CH3, Ez on the ASS- CH3, Just Tom- CH3, Flying Hooters- CH3, Are they Real- CH3, One Handed Typist-CH3, Just Jenn- CH3, No Penetration- CH3, Wrapper Snatcher, Virgin banger- CH3, Renta Virgin- CH3, Just Ken- KCH3, Just Tyrone And Just Tyrone II, Dr. Poolittle- TH3, Mrs. Poolittle-TH3, Just Rob, W’All Bangher, Anal Assault, Just Ed, Shiggy Piggy
I was very happy to see all of you make it to hash ball this year at Jania’s, if you missed it you missed one hell of a time. I would first like to thank ROTTEN WHORE and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA who helped to plan or set-up this event. ODOR EATER as always played the part of our awesome DJ. I would like to say one of my first moves, as the CH3 GM is that I am firing MILK MY YAK from haberdashery. I am relieving him of his duty because he is lazy good for nothing hasher that has not been doing his job by bringing and selling haberdashery to the CH3 hash.
On the flip side MILK MY YAK has been hired as the CH3 Brew master. Those of you present for hash ball witnessed LIFA jumping over the bar to get the last drop of IPA from the keg of beer that MILK made. I have never seen LIFA react this way to beer unless it was good beer like Sam Adams so this beer must have been something and my hangover proves it. I would like to also thank CALVIN for announcing the winners of the hash
awards.
Many thanks go to BATTERIES for taking the time to careful count well over 55 ballots from hashers. Word on the street is BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED is now cross-eyed.
The best costume would have to go to NP for his Oprah impression or EZ ON THE ASS for his Tamales impersonation. WRAPPER SNATCHER and JUST STEPH played the part of two sexy playboy bunnies with JUST I LEAN their pimp Hugh Hefner. VIRTUALLY HUNG was a representative of the fine German ethnic group with his lederhosen on.
Everyone looked great and was ready to have a good time. I had to laugh though because so many people thought there was not enough food or beer. Well I still have left over food if anyone wants it and the MGD keg was left over for the next days hash. We basically had 45 gallons of beer for 45 hashers or one gallon per hasher and at least 7 bottles of wine.
MAGNETIC MUFF brought her good friend HOT LIPS in from Grand Rapids to have some fun with us tonight and I think they did. JUST NETTIE and JUST ANGELLE looked like images from the White city worlds fair and later in the evening we were invaded by SHIGGY PIGGY who gave away all of her haberdashery maybe I got some and maybe I didn’t I just do not remember.
The party broke up around midnight for me but rumors abound that the party lasted until morning for some. Next time I need to remember that MILKS beer is at least double the alcohol content of regular beer, and thanks for electing me CH3- GM for another year.
CHCKEN STIFFER
CH3- GM
Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1534 3.2.08 @ Dugan's / Casa de Rotn' – Post Hash Ball Hangover Hash
Click here for the official GPS Map of trail. Newly re-elected GM Chicken Stiffer was too hungover to make it out for the run itself but somehow showed up at the on-in.
Below is the Megabus taking a break off duty on Des Plaines between Polk and Taylor on Sunday’s trail, probably resting for the big Chicago Green Dress invasion coming in two weeks. We have yet to photograph the legendary double-decker Megabus species tho. But mad props to Hot Lips (right) who as GM of Grand Rapids was not only the one person crazy enough to roadtrip out for Hash Ball but also at the Hangover Hash beer stop managed to trade a crappy gringo beer (Miller High Life) for a crappy Mexican cervesa (Modelo Especiale) with the locals!
Hash Trash: 3/2/08
Hares: Rotten Whore, Odor Eater
Venue: Rottens Place
VIRGINS: Just Stephanie, Just Pops, Just Janet
VISITORS: Hot Lips
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Magnetic Muff, Just Ryan, Moldy Man Sac, Lifa, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Up Loader, R-Tard-E, Just Tara, Just Charlie, Just Tim, Just Andy, Just Kevin, Just Kristen
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 35
The day after hash ball was billed as a hangover hash and the GM came fully prepared to meet those conditions. I don’t know what the rest of you were thinking but shouldn’t all of you have come late to the hash with a raging headache and shaking knees? The day had 50-degree weather and with nice weather out comes the hashers, 35 hashers to be exact. I really can’t comment about the trail because I was on a bus making my way south, but I did hear that many people missed the beer stop?
Good thing the hash ball had left an over keg for hashers at the on-in. I made it right in time for the circle run by our own CALVIN KLEIN. He quickly punished the hares, ROTTEN WHORE and ODOR EATER. Our FRB was I don’t fucking know and our FBI was I don’t fucking know because I was still drunk. I do know that we had three virgins show up that laughed their asses off at our hash songs. JUST POPS, JUST STEPHANIE, and JUST JANET cannot wait to come back next week. JUST TARA gets a shout out for inviting them to the hash. JUST I LEAN finally turned 23 today and if you haven’t seen him we have renamed him TOM CRUISE……… Not!!!!!
It was nice to see MOLDY MAN SAC and 8675309 make it out today I guess a warm Sunday without football is all we need to get him to hash. Please do not tell him about Arena Football. MILK MY YAK was pouring beer today for the hash.
If you haven’t heard MILK MY YAK has been officially fired from the Haberdashery, but was been retained by the CH3 Mismanagement as the official Brew Master of the CH3 due to his supreme efforts of making tasty beer for the hash ball. CUMMA SLUTCHA and JUST BRAIN (our plumber) made it out today and even found time to down a few slices of Pizza, which I have been told is the largest pizza hashers have every seen in Chicago.
That ZA was 22 inches strong I’m sure not as big as ITS TOO SOFT but close. Eventual the circle was closed and most came inside to await the arrival of that large pie. Well I hope to see you out next week and check out the Green Dress Hash link if you are still thinking about joining 18 CH3 hashers in St. Louis.
Click here for Green Dress Info
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
—-
Appendix by It’s Too Soft who actually dragged his very hungover ass out on trail:
As expected, the day started off badly with the trusty alarm clock going off at the weekday setting of 6:35am Sunday morning which reminded me why I should have given up BEER for LENT. I don’t care what Milk My Yak said about "formulating lower-alcohol versions of his homebrews" but to paraphrase my friend Beth’s grandmother, "that’s horsefeathers" or to quote Bill Paxton in the movie Aliens – "I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention to current events but we just got our asses kicked out there!" after his platoon of Colonial Marines was decimated by the aliens. Hash Ball was a blast but man, we paid the price.
Irregardless, I managed to drag myself out of bed at the crack of noon, slam a cup of coffee that could kill a small horse (that European stuff we get at work can be brewed kick-ass strong), and trundle down to Dugan’s (via my trusty steed, the Halsted #8 CTA bus) only to find that in addition to the hash my friends Kevin and Stacy and their post-church bar crew were gathered for a few cold ones after Mass. Nothing like being at a bar where you know practially everyone in the joint.
Back outside for the chalk talk, on a surprisingly warm day (given the weeks of subfreezing/near zero temps) Rotn and her Eagle Trail backup hare Horn-E debriefed the crew with the usual marks and then it was on out down South. The GPS captured the essence of the trail, interestingly we ran into the Megabus resting on Des Plaines, and there was a turkey/eagle split just on the other side of Halsted by Morgan’s. Since I had the GPS I decided to follow the eagle as the rest of the crew I was with peeled off onto the turkey.
Despite what others may have said, Horn-E laid a very well-marked and swept eagle trail and I had no problems wending my way through all those new "University Village" condos and townhomes to finally make my way to beer stop at a "U"-shaped Chicago Public School (I forgot the name) by Sheridan Park only to find that despite the fact I was near the rear there were only a handful of hashers there. Where was the rest of the pack? Vegas money had it they bee-lined for Casa de Rotn but we may never really know. But for those of us who were there we had plenty of beer even though we were apparently encroaching on the regular beer drinking hangout of some Mexican-Americans. In the interest of maintaining good international relations with our neighbors to the South, Hot Lips did manage to trade one of our Miller High Lives for a Modelo Especiale with them, essentially trading crappy gringo beer for crappy Mexican beer. Viva globalication!
After the beer stop the pack headed back to Casa de Rotn & Odor where we were joined by the rest of the pack and a bunch of non/slower runners and we killed the keg and got pizzas the size of Nebraska as Chicken mentions. Given we had plenty of hash cash we made an emergency beer run and got five 30 packs of more cost-effective beer of which I suspect at least three were left over as a bunch of us skated to Whirlyball on Fullerton to celebrate the 12th birthday of Just I Lean. Rotn will probably be drinking what’s left of those 30′s until Summer!
Fuji
—-
Hare(s): Rotn’ Whore
Venue: Dugan’s Drinking Emporium – 128 S Halsted (between Monroe & Adams)
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite Congress and the Bush Administration passing a $186 Billion economic stimulus program.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Monroe you can either hoof it like eight blocks West to Halsted or if you’re lazy can schlep one block North and catch #20 or #127 buses Westbound on Madison to Halsted. Another good solution from the North side is take the Halsted #8 bus down to Monroe.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Monroe and the aforementioned eight block slog Westward or altenatively get off the Blue Line at Milwaukee/Halsted and take the Halsted #8 bus to the bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Monroe and Halsted. Should be plenty of meter spots on street but check to make sure they’re not Sunday meters.
Hash Ball 2007
2007 Attendees: Lower Wack-off, Too Loose to Screw, Flying Hooters, Two-tickets to a pair a Thighs, Smell This, Hooked on Tonics, Milk my Yak, Barks on all Fours, Nuttin Bitch, CP, Batteries not Included, Calvin Klein, Spotted Cock, Ballsalotapus, Chicken Stiffer, Odor Eater, Rotten Whore, Erect da Red, Mount me Puh-leeze, Coffee, Tea or Me, Just Lou, Mount Schwinga, Sugar Nipples, Lifa, Princess Labia, Magnetic Muff, Rear Loader, Mud Sucker, Pardon my Flaps, Its Too Soft, Cum in my Assfault, and Virtully Hung.
Well Hash Ball really began at 7:30 pm damn that GM for telling you all 7 pm but with the bad weather I’ll bet most of you were happy with the extra 1/2 hour warning. The Ball went very well and major thanks go out to Odor Eater for the entertainment and Rotten Whore for organizing the event. We had 33 brave Hashers make it out this blizzard of night to be present and accounted for the Chicago Hash Harriers award night and GM election. The hash enjoyed tasty food and plenty of beer someone made out like a bandit and took home a pan full of leftover chicken and pasta. I wish I had a car to drive it home!!!
The Awards were handed out and the winners were:
Best Trail of 2006 - Calvin and Batteries for their Yucca Dance in Lincoln Park.
Worst Trail of 2006 - Ez on the Ass for his trail crossing jailbreak hash.
Best On-In - The Memorial Day Hash at Virgin Bangers and Rent-a-Virgin, with Peterbilt, Smell this, and Calvin Klein.
Front Running Bastard - Happy Ass Grabber
Front Running Bimbo - Flying Hooters
Best Beer Stop - Rear Loader and Horn-E for their 8-beer stop Trail.
DFL - CP
Non-Running Wussy - Smell This
Hash Bimbo - Magnetic Muff and her naked hashes
Hash Wanker – Ez on the Ass for paying hash cash in Chinese money
Hash Shit - Mudsucker for gas beer at the Southside parade
Hash Couple - Mount Me Puh leeze and Coffee, Tea or Me
Bill January Award - Boner Malfunction
GOLD WHISTLE AWARD – Its too Soft for going above and beyond the call of hash Duty
And The NEW GM is the OLD GM- Chicken Stiffer
Hash Ball Wound down around Midnight and the hashers trekked through the blizzard of 2007 to get home or to the next bar. One side note was that LIFA missed his train downtown and had to stay at the GM’s house overnight, poor Lifa.
Chicken Stiffer