Hash Trash 7/22/2007
Post 1500 Hangover Hash & bRUNch
by It’s Too Soft
Sunday morning found the crew brutally hungover but many still wanting one last hurrah. My living room looked like Jonestown Guyana the day after they drank the Kool Aid, as it was littered with fallen hashers. Yet we were blessed with a third consecutive day of unseasonably awesome weather (thus guaranteeing the RA nearly limitless down-downs) which found a pack of just over 20 runners joined by several latecomers gathered at Party Central for one last go. The pack was almost all visitors as Chicago hashers pretty much said "I’m tired, hungover, generally feel like ass and I LIVE HERE so feck it – I can run around Fuji’s place in Lincoln Park anytime, so I’m just gonna SLEEP IN". Fair enough. After they stowed their bags on the third floor deck which by that time was starting to look like baggage claim at O’Hare during Thanksgiving the pack gathered in alley between Diversey & Wolfram.
Chalk talk was led by GM Chicken Stiffer while Sin City’s own Fluffer hurridly set trail thru unfamiliar territory with strict instructions NOT to exceed one statute mile (5,280 ft). I did not actually run his trail as once the pack left I hopped into my other car (the Interceptor smelled like a dead brewery after being used for two beer stops @1500) for a quick food run down to Dominick’s as the pack would be expecting chow when they got back, and way some of these harriers run, we’re talking ten minutes or less, hangover or not. RUN!!!
Anyhoo, Indy’s C No Panty Ho graciously stayed back to help grab the grub and when we got back we were joined by Assfault (who fired up the Skydeck’s brand new (virgin) BBQ grille and cooked the bacon – first time I’ve seen that done but if you think about it it does seem to make sense) and Moan On who prepared a feast for the starving pack down belowdeck for when they returned.
As we were unloading, back saunters in our hare saying "I think these guys are going to kill me as I think the trail was well over TWO miles". Near as I can tell from marks I’ve seen in the hood since then the trail did a big clockwise loop first South and then West around Party Central as the hare returned from the North. Great – hungover, starving, and now pissed hashers were about to stream back to my house en masse… just can’t wait for that!
When they arrived, we cleverly stalled them with beer and bagels on the Skydeck where keg #2 from 1500 the previous day finally gave up the ghost. Fortunately I had passed on Chicked Stiffer’s instructions and gotten a THIRD KEG just in case. Hindsight being 20/20 that turned out to be a very good call. Calvin Klein showed us he still had it with yet another excellent circle in which people were called out for everything imaginable. Soon food was brought up to the Skydeck and the circle was paused as the pack pounced on BREAKFAST. Peeps hung out after that, some more Chicago locals filtered in (I think for the food) and circle was reconvened for yet another round of down downs and continued as folks slowly started to filter out for their buses, trains, flights, etc. Next thing you know keg #3 was floating but for some miraculous reason continued to spout forth pitcher after pitcher of glorious beer like some kind of Hash Hannukah miracle. Eventually the laws of Fluid Mechanics set in and some quick thinking hashers went to the corner liquor store for a couple more cases where we finished off the day with Chicken Stiffer escorting the late bus people (I believe it was Indy – after three days of balls out drinking I’m not 100% sure!) to Union Station. The keg hoist performed its final duties of the weekend admirably bringing back down the empty barrels prior to being stowed until my next party.
Fortunately, due to a surge in late registrations for 1500 itself we had enough money from the event to cover the cost of hangover so we waived our announced $9 hash cash for trail & breakfast and made this a FREE HASH which was an unexpected bonus for the visitors and lost opportunity for those who slept in and skipped the Hangover trail… literally, you snooze you looze (booze). But from those who made it out for the events it seems like folks had a great time overall so we will do something like this again (maybe use someone else’s car for the beer stops next time tho as the cop car now reeks like Alpine Valley after a Jimmy Buffett concert!). Thanks to all our visitors – see all y’all next time and mad props to all the locals whose efforts helped us pull this one off and not to mention the RA’s for the unbelievable weather- sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good!!!
Party on on,
It’s Too Soft
Proprietor, Party Central Chicago
and someone who really needs to clean out the back of his car