Hare(s): Calvin Klein, Super Stuff'Her, It’s Too Soft and other Unindicted Co-Conspirators

Venue: Piano Man - 3801 N. Clark St. 

Party: Private Party Rooms, we have the rooms until MIDNIGHT and great food from Robinson's Ribs Catering, dancing under the influence and other great entertainment you just can't pay for!

Swag: Hazmat Suit, Souvenir Nametag, Commemorative Event T-Shirt. Please note due to environmental concerns please re-cycle your Santa Hats from previous years and/or decorate/ accessorize you own. Prize for best-decorated hat!

Accomodations: Days inn Lincoln Park (starting at $85/night) or Arlington House Youth Hostel (starting at $61/night)

Pricing/Registration: Pricing is $50 day of, if available. Click here to download the rego or go to the CH3 Yahoo Group Files to download.

 

 >>> Dec 20th Walk-ups (if available) cash only please
Note shirts NOT guaranteed as we placed the order two weeks ago
& can't afford to get stuck with extras!

Saturday, December 19, 2009 Meet at 1500hrs CST, on out at 1530hrs (3:00pm - keg will be tapped at 2pm)

Join THE Chicago Hash House Harriers for our Winter 2009 Flagship Event - the 7th Anniversary of Chicago’s Great Anthrax Scare of 2002!!!

This year's event is once again ALL NEW as we have rented out the two backrooms of Wrigleyville favorite Piano Man and we have the rooms until MIDNIGHT!

Odor Eater returns to DJ and will keep us dancing under the influence all night long.

Fabulous food (isn't all food in Chicago fabulous?) and vegetarian/vegan options will be your choice of silverware, napkins or plates. (kidding, but please do warn us of any special dietary preferences).

This years venue will be just blocks from historic and beautiful Wrigley Field and our hares plan to lay an incredibly shitty trail and show you some new Chicago scenery.

Swag included in rego: Hazmat Suit, Souvenir nametag, and Commemorative Event T-Shirt.

PLEASE NOTE: In anticipation of changes in EPA rules from the Obama Administration, we ask that participants please RECYCLE your Santa Hats from previous years or show your Anthrax Pride and decorate/ accessorize you own entirely new hat for 2009!

Despite the worst recession in decades 8th Anthrax is still be one of the BEST VALUES IN HASHING.

To view the authentic news media coverage on the 2002 Anthrax Scare click here 
More time to kill? Check out Flying Booger's remarks on Chicago 6th Antrhax on his Half Mind Blog here and also see the 2007 Anthrax web page as well as Big Hump's Do My Butt's writeup about the Great Megabus of Shame incident that followed 6th Anthrax after they hit our hangover and had a few more on the bus.

(*) refers to most consecutive years, not length of trails

(**) longest-running and also the only one that we are aware of

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Addison, hoof it a block West along the Southern edge of Wrigley Field to Clark and then two blocks North to Grace.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Addison, CTA Addison #152 bus East to Clark, hoof it two blocks North on Clark to Grace

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Clark & Grace. Parking is usually findable as the Cubbies are in San Francisco that night further North along Clark by the cemeteries, or even East of Clark on Irving Park a couplea blocks el Norte.

 

Pre-Lube Party - Friday, December 18, 5pm@ Fuji's Party Central (933 W Wolfram #3) and then Kirkwood (2934 North Sheffield Avenue) 9pm-Midnight: Keg will be tapped at Party Central and we will pad your stomachs with snacks. We will then continue on to Kirkwood (see above) and all your beer is included. $15 covers beer and food @ Party Central and 3 hours beer party at Kirkwood from 9pm-Midnight. Note there is also a Moon Hash downtown at the Lodge at 7pm (21 W Division) which those interested in running some trail are highly encouraged to attend.
Hangover Hash - Sunday, December 20@ 11am: Hared by whoever in chicago MisManageMent can still move. Start location @ Hidden Shamrock (2723 N Halsted). The usual $8 Hash cash applies but we should have leftover food! We have a special deal setup with the bar for $6 pitchers PBR, $2.50 domestic bottles, $$6.50 Reuben n Fries with cuppa soup !!!  $3.50 pints Harp, $4 Sam Winter Ale Pints! 

Whooz Cumming (as of 12/15)

Return to Gender Badgers on Bikes Bash C.P. Baltimore Film@11 Baltimore-Annapolis Battleshit Galactica Big Hump Bozo's Wet Dream Big Hump Burning Asshole Big Hump Cliff BangHer Big Hump Dewey Sexual System Big Hump Do My Butt Big Hump GAYBLADE! Big Hump Hummers Para Libre Big Hump Just Ron Big Hump Roll-On DCH3 Butt Chug Indyscent Pissy Ditzy Indyscent Finger Picking Good Little Rock H3 Hot Lips Michigan Damn it & damn It MoA2H3 - Moan'n Road Whores SOS Panama City H3 International Virgin Second City H3 Just Got It SFH3 Beer Spill Valdez TH3 Cum in my Nurse TH3 Dark Side of the Poon TH3 Fistful of Pricks TH3 Mt. Schwiiinga TH3 $.69 man THE Chicago HHH Ball Cock Dumper THE Chicago HHH Ballsalotapus THE Chicago HHH Barks on all Fours THE Chicago HHH Batteries Not Included THE Chicago HHH Calvin Klein THE Chicago HHH Chicken Stiffer THE Chicago HHH Corn Star THE Chicago HHH Crop Duster THE Chicago HHH Cum in My Assfault THE Chicago HHH Ginger Snatch THE Chicago HHH

Glory Hole THE Chicago HHH Half-Fag THE Chicago HHH Hoosier Daddy THE Chicago HHH Horn-E THE Chicago HHH I Like Dick THE Chicago HHH Just Allison THE Chicago HHH Just Andrea THE Chicago HHH Just Andy THE Chicago HHH Just Annie THE Chicago HHH Just Colleen THE Chicago HHH Just Ingrid THE Chicago HHH Just Jonathan THE Chicago HHH Just Jordan THE Chicago HHH Just Kelsey THE Chicago HHH Just Matt THE Chicago HHH Just Nick THE Chicago HHH Just Rita THE Chicago HHH Just Valinda THE Chicago HHH KGB THE Chicago HHH Lifa THE Chicago HHH Magnetic Muff THE Chicago HHH Milk my Yak THE Chicago HHH Mouthful of Meat THE Chicago HHH Odor Eater THE Chicago HHH Poultry F*cker THE Chicago HHH Rear Aushwitz THE Chicago HHH R-TardE THE Chicago HHH Salty Gash THE Chicago HHH Snatchsquatch THE Chicago HHH Soul Taco THE Chicago HHH Super Stuff'her THE Chicago HHH Uploader THE Chicago HHH Virtually Hung THE Chicago HHH M'Alice Vancouver Cop-U-Later Waukesha It's Too Soft Waukesha Oh My Dawg Waukesha Sphincter Grease Waukesha

Doubt our street cred? Pix from 2007 can be found by clicking on Pictures in the Nav bar to the right for the CH3's official pictures as well as other peoples pix  Batteries' Pix and Return 2 Gender's Pix and So So's pix Pre-Lube / Anthr@x / Hangover

We have turkey, cornbread, mac & cheese,  oh and beer  a keg.  Shaina's place has a 50 inch plamsa so the bears game will be on!!!!! 

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Belmont, Belmont 77 bus West to Monticello between Monticello and Lawndale which is generally between the Kennedy and Milwaukee Ave.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, hoof it a few blocks west to Monticello.

Driving

Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Belmont & Monticello. I have absolutely no idea what parking is like in this area but shouldn't be too bad.

Click here for info and regos for Chicago's 7th Annual Great Anthrax Scare Hash & Santa Hat Run

Sunday 10/14/2007 Meet @11am, Out @ 1130am

Chicago HHH #1513.5 Post PoP Hangover Hash "Kegs & Eggs on the Skydeck"

Hare(s): Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Party Central Skydeck - 933 W Wolfram rooftop
Hash Cash: $9 Includes a mercifully short trail, lotsa beer and FOOD!!!

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square, hoof it three blocks North to Diversey, and Diversey 76 bus East to Sheffield, 1 blk North to Wolfram.

7th Annual Power of the Pussy - The Main Event
Saturday 10/13/2007 Meet @ 2:00pm, Out @ 2:30pm
Chicago HHH #1513

The Tale of the Trail Chicago #1413 PoP 7 @ Chi-Town Tap
Hash Trash:  10/13/07 POP HASH The 7th YEAR ITCH
Hares: Likes it on the Bottom, PACKhER Ass, Mount Schwiiinga, Salty Gash, Just Lauren, and Rotten Whore
Venue: Chi-town Tap

VIRGINS:  Just Ernst, Just Kristen, Just Savitia, Just Jonathon
VISITORS:   Hand Solo, #2, Toilet Eclipse, Just Mary, Ricky’s Crab Shack, Exorcist, Hot Lips, Suck Me Dry, OPP, Gagging Me Softly, 2 f*** Cannuck
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Virtually Hung, W’all Bangher, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Just Katherine, Just Kristen, Just Steve, 69-Cent Man, Anal Assault, Bank of Spermamerica, Boner Malfunction, Batteries Not Included, Just Corrine, Grizzly ?, I’m Late Again, It’s too Soft, Just Allen, Just Julia, Magnetic Muff, Just Lisa, Just Mary, Just Molly, Just Peter, Sperm Diversion, Just Saud, One Handed Typist, Mouthful Of Meat, Mud Sucker, Odor Eater, Too Much Head, Just Patrick, Moan on Trail, Just Ed, CP, Just Jamica, Just Rick,  Man O Whore, Just Tom,
VIRGINS= 4
VISTORS=9
TOTAL HASHERS= 60+

Last weekend five ladies (PACKhER ASS, LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM, MOUNT SCHWIIINGA, JUST LAUREN, and SALTY GASH plus one rotten WHORE put on the yearly POP (POWER of the PUSSY) hash.  The turn out was high with over 60 hashers showing up for the event and the laughs and fun will last forever.  Nice job ladies!!!   The Planning for the event began in the beginning of JULY when the ladies asked me if they could run POP. A date was picked for the hash in mid-JULY when the Chicago October hash calendar was empty of hashes for the Oct. 12-14 weekend.  The T-shirt design was done by our own MOUNT SCHWIIINGA with the trail being devised by LIKES IT ON THE BOTTOM.  The other 3 pussies, PACKhER ASS, SALTY GASH, and JUST LAUREN, provided logistical support.  

The weekend kicked off with a pre-lube party where the CH3 raised around $200 for Breast Cancer Research, this brings the CH3 donations to charity well over $1000 for the whole year.  The Flagship event began at 2 p.m. Oct. 13 with the weather being most cooperative.  The hash ran under cloudy skies with a temperature of 65 degrees or perfect running weather.  I wish we could have had this weather for the Chicago Marathon!!!  The ladies greeted us at the door adorned in their Marilyn Monroe outfits so blondes were everywhere.  The hash greeted our visitors in from BIG-HUMP, 2 F*** CANNUCK, SEXORCIST, and RICKYS CRAB SHACK.  

We also had Waukesha hashers in the form of #2, TOILET ECLIPSE, JUST MARY, and HAND SOLO.   Later in the evening the INDY SCENT hashers showed up in the form of OPP, SUCK ME DRY, and GAGGING ME SOFTLY.  The hash lubricated itself with beer and around 2:45 pm the hash did chalk talk.  VIRTUALLY HUNG was stuck carrying the flag today and JUST ALLEN and I were stuck wearing schoolgirl skirts and football jersey’s due to a lost bet a couple weeks ago.  
The hash took off Northeast and found its first problem around the Illinois Masonic Hospital.  The trail went up through the parking lot and back down.  Numerous hashers like JUST PATRICK, JUST MOLLY, JUST ALLEN, and others decided to short cut the trail because what goes up must come down, the problem was where would the trail come down?  Eventually the trail did run up to Halsted and then North to the Belmont El line stop.  

This was the shot stop on the trail and TOO MUCH HEAD seemed to love giving blow job?!?          
SHOTS to the hashers cumming in for the quick rest.  ROTTEN WHORE looked she had just blown a whole battleship full of sailors with all of the leftover whip cream around her mouth!!  SEXORCIST had the inverted whip cream treat as well.  After the brief rest and shots the pack was back on trail angling northwest.  JUST ALLEN, SPERM DIVERSION, VIRTULLY HUNG and I seemed to be leading the pack at this point and about two miles down trail we ran into the backyard of MOUNT SCHWIINGA.  I took a seat but soon had to get up because JUST CORINNE, TOO MUCH HEAD, HOT LIPS, and others kept trying to see up my skirt!!!  

The pack was treated to some fine beer, but the piece de resistance was the penis piñata.   CP had first crack at the big dick but missed it completely.  Next up was MOUTHFUL OF MEAT who seemed to need batting practice as well.   MUDSUCKER took a whack at it and started the eventual down fall of the massive prick. Finally and mercifully ODOR eater like Chris Farley in the great white ninja blindfolded himself and put a huge wallop into that phallic that it spit out its finally death blows.  Out of said phallic came Chocolate, sweet tarts and other prizes which will be given out this Sunday to the no shows.

The pack hit the pavement and was running along until 69-CENT MAN found a bus playpen in the garbage.  He put the costume on but soon tired of it and gave it to JUST SAUD and I.  We ran with it on until we got to the finally beer stop at Wrightwood Park.  Along the way we must have given out 50-60 hash cards to interested onlookers and when we got to the park the Kick ball game stopped to give us a funny salute.  ROTTEN WHORE womaned this stop and was very self-conscious of her appearance because numerous innocent bystanders were giving her strange looks.   The bus finally arrived and the Ladies had games ready for us.  I was on a team of JUST SAUD, TOO MUCH HEAD, JUST SAVITIA, and JUST KRISTEN.  We played izzy dizzy and many hashers were soon on the ground from a lost sense of balance and direction.  I believe the winning team had 69-CENT MAN, JUST PETER, #2, JUST MOLLY, and JUST KATHERINE on their team.  

The pack played in the park for about ½ and then staggered back into the ON-IN at the Chi-town tap around 5:45 pm, but not before SALTY and PACKhER jumped into a pair of granny panties together.

Back at the On-In we had a short delay until the circle was started by PACKhER ASS and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA.  They did a masterful job in running the circle and received the cooperation of the circle in general and if they didn’t ROTTEN WHORE spoke up for them with RESPECT!!!   The hares were publicly pissed upon and our visitors were acknowledged and thanked for making the trip.   Our virgins, Just Ernst, Just Kristen, Just Savitia, and Just Jonathon were in shock of what they had done today and what they had seen.   The FRB’s were SPERM DIVERSION and JUST JULIA.  SPERM DIVERSION on a side note could barely stand at the end of the night.  The POP celebrated the past POP members in MOUTHFUL OF MEAT, ROTTEN WHORE and MAGNETIC MUFF.  They even punished the NRB’s JUST TOM, MOAN, OPP, GAGGING ME SOFTLY and SUCK ME DRY.   The BUS drivers and passengers made a second appearance and drank for garbage picking.  RENTA VIRGIN and VIRGIN BANGER were called on for something but I can’t remember by this time I was getting drunk.   JUST ALLEN got the sleeve today and somehow managed to drink from it with out spilling??  Food was served and the circle went through the motions of hash religion and ate.

Afterwards the hash decided to play a few games of Flippy cup with MOAN ON TRAIL leading the game.  Participants included BATTERIES, JUST ALLEN, JUST MOLLY, ODOR EATER, ROTTEN WHORE, SPERM DIVERSION, JUST SAUD and others.  The games lasted long and kicked SPERM DIVERSIONS butt because he threw up the game pieces after it was long over.  From here I am at a loss for words but I do remember that the POP committee got some free shots by flashing the bar tender!!!!  Overall the ladies did a nice job and the hash waits in anticipation for the 8th ANNUAL POP.  We also like to thank the ladies for making us a new hashshit award, which is now a 2 foot pink penis.  Towards the end of the night we did name JUST LAUREN.  The suggestions were JANE DOE, MY ASS IS UP FOR GRABS, TURN AND COUGH, and ON MY KNEES AGAIN.  After great deliberation amongst the hashers JUST LAUREN is now “MY ASS IS UP FOR GRABS!!!”  Congrats!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Harrierettes: Just Lauren, Mount Schwiiinga, PACKhER Ass, Salty Gash, and Likes it on the Bottom
Venue: Chi-Town Tap - 2642 N Lincoln
Hash Cash: $30 in advance, which is before 10/1 ($35 day of)

Questions? Email h3pop@yahoo.com
Download PoP7 Rego Form Here!!!

Public Transit -

From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Logan Square, Fullerton #74 bus East to Lincoln, hoof it a block East to Lincoln and two blocks Northwest, just past Wrightwood.

Meet @ 6 Out at bar close

Harrierettes: Just Lauren, Mount Schwiiinga, PACKhER Ass, Salty Gash, and Likes it on the Bottom.
Venue: Wrightwood Tap - 1059 W. Wrightwood

Same directions as PoP7 itself as the Wrightwood Tap is on Wrightwood literally 1 block East of the Wrightwood/ Sheffield/ Lincoln six-way intersection that Chi-Town tap is 1/2 block Northwest of.

The Tale of the Trail Chicago PoP PreLube @ Wrightwood Tap
POP PRELUBE 40+ attendees

ATTENDEES (that I can Remember); Mouthful of Meat, Batteries not included, One handed typist, Its too Soft, Chicken Stiffer, Salty Gash, Packher Ass, likes it on the bottom, Just Lauren, Mount Schwiiinga, Just Steve, Just Allen, Just Carol, Too Much Head, Just Corinne, Just Julia, Man O whore, Rickys Crab Schack, Sexorcist, Two F*** Cannuck, Dicken Cider, Mud Sucker, Just Tom, Just Tony, Just Sarah, Just Gary and Numerous other friends of the ladies. In all we had just over 40 people in a little room in the back enjoying all you can drink from 8-11 pm for only $20. Nice start to the weekend ladies, if last night was any indication of what is to come today then we are in for a fun time!!!

Chicken Stiffer

Chicago HHH #1512
You want me to do WHAT after the Marathon!!!?? HASH

Hare(s): Two Tickets & Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Slainte - 2138 N. Halsted St. in Lincoln Park

Okay, so maybe not everyone who just ran a 26.2 mile race may not be up for several more miles of hash trail. Totally understand. But I bet y'all could use a cold beer. Or several. Ergo da hash. See this link for additional volunteer opportunity for the traditional Chicago HHH Marathon Beer Stop this year in cooperation with the Chicago Police Memorial Foundation Marathon Team.

First Sunday Hash of Fall/Winter 2007/Spring 2008 Hashing Season! No more Mondays until MAY!!

$5 pitchers of PBR
Easy access via the Red and Brown lines.
Also you should be able to park in the Lincoln Park High School parking lot

From Lincoln Park/Lakeview -: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it 1 blk East to Halsted, and two blocks South just past Webster 

From Wicker Park/Bucktown -: Blue Line to Logan Square, hoof it Southeast on Milwaukee to Fullerton, take Fullerton 74 Bus East to Halsted, walk South on Halsted 2 blocks just past Webster ton 74 Bus East to Halsted, walk South on Halsted 2 blocks just past Webster

This hash was billed as a birthday hash for EZ, VIRGIN BANGER, and STUMP HUMPER.  38 hashers showed up for this birthday hash. The venue was set as the turtle racing capital of the world, Joe’s on Foster.  STUPID MAN was the first to arrive and he talked about his two high school boys that play football.  I have never seen them play but they are supposed to be top players in the state.  One is a quarterback and one a wide out.  I would love to one day hear the call STUPID MAN JR.  to STUPID MAN JR. for a touchdown.   More hashers began to arrive and Chicago welcomed FLAVIO and JUST DUSTY in from San Diego via Lambeau where their beloved Chargers lost to the Packers over the weekend.  Who said hashers don’t watch football?  We also welcomed 4 virgins that showed up early to run with us JUST JOHN, MARC, MANDY, and AMANDA.  

The hash began around 7:30 pm with a chalk talk from the hares and the pack was off.  VIRTUALLY HUNG was the early pace setter down an alley followed closely by old man HORN-E.   The trail wound its way towards Lawrence but not before the pack went through a park and climbed over a fence.  JUST MARC was really getting the hang of the hash because he was the FRB tonight.   69-CENT MAN with his reconstructed knees kept plodding along.  The trail went through the usually hospital area where JUST KATHERINE spotted trail come through the large parking lot and called the pack to follow.  It was in this area where the unfortunate JUST MANDY lost her car key?  Virtually Hung again found himself up front with ROTTEN WHORE and they worked their way through Welles Park, and on under to the el-train.   All along the trail MOUNT ME PUH’LZEE’s cranium reflect the full moon that was out in force throughout the night. The pack found the trail making its way to casa de VIRGIN BANGER where the pack was met by a short cutting STUPID MAN and the beautiful RENTA VIRGIN.  Heinekens for all!!!  The Pack enjoyed the friendly confines of the VIRGINS backyard.   OR-G, JUST PATRICK, JUST JOE, and CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT all sat back and popped a beer.  

The pack stayed for 20 minutes plus at the beer stop and then went back to the bar.  VIRTUALLY HUNG ran the circle and punished STUPID MAN for being the FRB.  JUST MOLLY and JUST KATHERINE were the FBI’s.  The GM even remembered to give ASSPOCKET her lanyard and whistle she rightly deserved, of course the birthday people got their birthday down down too.  

Back at the bar we also ran into ITS TOO SOFT and his small harem of PACKhER ARSE and SALTED GASH. They were the NRB’s along with DAVEY CORCHET and MUDSUCKER who showed up late.  Even the MAN O WHORE rolled in drunk and disorderly.  ANAL ASSAULT and JUST TOM acknowledge they are setting trail next week at 5200 N. Clark.  It was too bad that BLOODY THIGHS had to leave early because I don’t think she got a down down. It was also different to see JUST JENN out with out the big MOLDY MAN SACK she carries around.  It was nice to see about 40 hashers stuffing their collective faces with B-day cake brought by RENTA VIRGIN.  The circle ended and the hashers went on their way.  Hope to see all of you next week at the virgin trail of ANAL ASSAULT and JUST TOM.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Don't believe the GM? Fujirazzi pix here

The Hare TOO MUCH HEAD was so well prepared for this trail she had a google map with the trail outlined and a beer stop already planned.  Future hares should take note that scouting your trail before hand like TOO MUCH HEAD did can be a good thing.  She even talked to Ray the owner of the bar and explained our need for singing and $5 pitchers which helped the night run well.  

Overall you have to say that TOO MUCH HEAD did everything a hare needed to do.  The pack formed outside of the bar around 7:30 pm and I gave the chalk talk for the benefit of our 3 virgins and relatively new hashers.  The talk was short and the pack was off.  The trail was picked up by VIRTUALLY HUNG and CALVIN KLEIN going north but is soon doubled back towards a familiar Polish-Catholic Church in the neighborhood.  A check was laid in its parking lot with true trail again doubling back on itself.  I believe JUST MOLLY or JUST JULIE found the trail going west which soon cut through the only alley in Chicago.  The HEAD trail went south and crossed Diversey.  The pack ran into a check and one of the littlest dogs every seen on trail here.  HORN-E went east and JUST KATHERINE west with numerous others running south.  The pack was stumped and HORN-E came running back thinking he was on the false trail but he finally figured out that he had the true trail called ON-ON!!!  The pack wound its way back to the east where MUDSUCKER became confused by the split in the park and many ladies like JUST CIARA and JUST JULIE got drinks of water or used the bathroom.  JUST CORINNE looked like she found true trail going towards Wrightwood and the pack was smiling again.   They soon were frowning though when they came to the next check and VIRGIN BANGER and RHOTAN called on-on leading the pack on a long false trail.  The pack rejoined the hare, CHICKEN STIFFER, at the check and found true trail quickly.  The pack with ORG-E leading ran into the short back check that ran into a dead end before they came out to the Logan Boulevard Circle and monument.   Here ORG-E called on-on but didn’t realize that he had missed the check and was really on a false trail.  JUST MOLLY found true trail running south and called for JUST CHRIS to join her in the search for more marks.  MOUTHFUL OF MEAT was accidentally spat on by a spitting RHOTAN who was trying to clear his nasal passages.   CALVIN was somewhere lost out on trail and eventual ran backwards on marks to find the beer stop.  The pack was closing in on the beer and needed a little more help from some rangers to find true trail crossing back across Logan to the north.  AT YOUR CERVIX kicked it into high gear when she detected the faint smell of barley and hops wafting through the air.  The pack ran back towards Diversey and one of virgins, JUST GINA, seemed to be stripping on trail??  ITS TOO SOFT refused to jump the short fence to the beer stop complaining; “ I DO NOT HOP OVER THINGS WHEN I CAN’T SEE THE LANDING ZONE!!!”  SMELL THIS and TOO MUCH HEAD had set up the beer stop behind some storefronts and we waved numerous times to the neighbor who kept popping his cranium out the window to see what the hell was going on!!  The pack devoured the two cases of beer and meandered back the bar.  

CALVIN ran the circle and it is comical to see people try to interrupt him week after week, it doesn’t work he just does the RA job too well for the hash to faze him.  We were soon giving down-downs to the HARES.  The virgins JUST CIARA, JUST AARON, and JUST GINA were taught how to perform a correct down-down by MUDSUCKER.  CALVIN brought 69-cent man into the circle for setting of the metal detector, and VIRTUALLY HUNG was named the FRB.  I’M LATE AGAIN showed up fashionably late and even later was ASSFLACK who decided to join the CH3 party.  JUST PETER and JUST JULIE drank for being reboots and the circle continued. After 20 minutes of accusations CALVIN had the circle singing swing low and the circle closed.   Most of us watched the CUBS come back against the REDS this night scoring three runs in the bottom of the ninth for a victory, and ITS TOO SOFT cried over his losing Eagles. Overall the trail was an excellent effort by the Virgin Hare TOO MUCH HEAD and we hope she
volunteers to hare in the near future.  

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
 

Don't believe the GM? Fujirazzi pix here

Those of us that couldn't get out of town for the Holiday weekend had a great day to hash and long trail to run. ITS TOO SOFT laid a long trail that went north to Wrigley field before it turned west to the corner of Western and Irving Park. We started off with four new virgins joining our band of hashers on their trek for beer. The hash went north under the el tracks and popped out near Illinois Masonic Hospital with a major check, but the marks were closely clustered together and the pack got confused until JUST MOLLY found marks with JUST JOHN going north. The pack was now being lead by JUST CHRIS squared. They also had AT YOUR CERVIX in tow finding trail going towards the Belmont and Clark corner. Here the trail went thru an alley that I found with the help of JUST ALLEN. The trail seemed to die here but went back east thru Boys Town.

The pack went north to the Addison Police station and continued around Wrigley Field. JUST KRISTEN a new virgin was in the lead group with MOLDY MAN SAC and FLYING HOOTERS. The pack kept going east and could have used a wagon to cart some of the walking wounded west much like our pioneers of old, but most made it to the corner of Western and Irving Park. Here we found our BN but soon found the trail gone, wiped out by some dude washing his car and watering his grass.

I guess **** happens as they do on all trails with this being no exception. The FRB's enjoyed water and LIFA joined JUST JENN, JUST PATRICK, and others waiting for the back of the pack to join us. I went back to relay marks to the beer stop that had been washed away. JUST ED, JUST DAVE, and JUST LUIS soon joined us. SIR POOPS came in with his special lady SPECIAL ED GIVER. The first beer stop had been found and the second was nearby but the pack had to use the el to find it.

The pack ran to the Western brown line stop and took the el to Fullerton where we ran 20 yards to old party central for the second beer stop. LIFA and I stopped at Dominick's for needed provisions, TOLIET PAPER for the old party central. We also got the hash some chips and pretzels, which went over well. We finished off most of the beer and ran back to the roof deck.

ITS TOO SOFT used the keg winch to get the beer up and the hash was enjoying the familiar flavor of GOLD and COLD. The hash circled up and punished the FRB CHICKEN STIFFER and we also punished MAGENTIC MUFF for excessive whining. SEX LUTHOR and JUST STEPHANE showed up saying they saw the flag on trail and followed it to FUJI's place so the got punished for being NRB's. JUST JENN and JUST PATRICK need to keep their racing attire at home so they got a down-down as well.

WE finally brought in our virgins in the circle, JUST ED, JUST MARK, JUST SCOTT, and JUST KRISTEN, theygot their demo down – down before they were initiated to our happy hash. The POP ladies of JUST LAUREN, SALTED GASH, PACKhER ARSE, and LIKES IT ON DA BOTTOM announced their hash on OCT. 13 in the Lincoln Park Area. The circle was closed and the food was served. Afterwards we did finally come up with a name for JUST CHRIS who will be known as "OPEN WIDE". The party lasted late into the evening with a free screening of Old School being played for the hashers that were left. See you all next week for JUST LAURENS trail.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM