Chicago Hash #1601 5.30.09 @ Casa de Poultry, German Maifest Hash
The Tale of the Trail
May 30, 2009
Chicago Hash #1601
VENUE: Casa de Poultry F*cker
HARES: Just Shaina, Poultry F*cker
VIRGINS: Just Jen, Just Maggie
VISITORS: Just Lehka- Sin city, Working Member- CowTown Hash
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Fistful of Pricks, Just Terri, Just Brad, Snatchsquatch, One Handed Typist, Free VD, Motor Whore-A, Lifa, Just Steve, Shiggy Piggy Gang Bang, Stupid Man, Lochness Cockster, Two Tickets to a Pair Thighs, Magnetic Muff, Its Too Soft, More Tail, Virgin Banger, Renta Virgin, Dirty Sanchez (Genesis), Salty Gash, Mouthful of Meat, Ice Princess, Just Jerome, R-Tard-E, Sperm Burb
TOTAL HASHERS – 32 Hashers a cat named Frisky and a dog named Zoe
The first Chicago Saturday hash this year was a smashing success. POULTRY F*CKER opened up her house and allowed 32 hashers to invade it for 5 hours much Like her Co-hare, JUST SHAINA did for us on Thanksgiving Day last year. The hash was greeted with a full keg of 312 Goose Island Beer on her back porch, which many enjoyed a beer or two from before the run commenced at 2:30 pm. The weather was the best the Chicago Hash has had this year. 78-degrees and partly sunny as opposed to partly cloudy. We had two visitors in this day from O-HI-O that were glad we had a weekend Chicago hash because they couldn’t come on Monday. Working Member was from the Cowtown hash and is good friends with Broken Rubber, Pup Tent, and Sausage Stew who visited us last year during POP. We also had Just Lehka in from Sin City, a place some of us will visit on June 19-21st to see the Sox and hash with our regional kennel in Cincinnati, OH. JUST LEHKA brought a Romanian virgin named JUST MAGGIE and WORKING MEMBER brought his sister, a virgin, JUST JEN to run with us too.
Our Hares gave a quick chalk talk and explained the marks to visitors and virgins and then after a 2-minute delay the pack was off. FREE VD, LIFA, and JUST STEVE quickly became the FRB’s of the pack and LOCHNESS COCKSTER quickly joined them at the front of the pack. Trail followed a southerly path meandering here and there until we got to Addison, where we crossed against heavy CUBS traffic going to the 3 pm game. Trail here went west to the corner of Addison and Western where there was a check. The FRB’s got caught in a circle jerk around Lane Tech HS while the back of the pack got the benefit of their trail knowledge allowing ONE HANDED TYPIST, JUST MAGGIE, JUST LEHKA, MAGNETIC MUFF, and JUST BRAD to short cut the circle and run north towards Irving Park thru the WGN studio area.
POULTRY had the back of the pack short cut the trail after FISTFUL of PRICKS lead them on a wild goose chase on a wrong trail but eventually we all made it to the Beer stop in Horner Park near Montrose. Zoe looked like she was dragging VB into the beer stop or was it the other way around? JUST SHAINA and JUST JEROME had beer and water ready for us when the pack came back together. We chatted and drank for about 15 minutes and then we were on out for the keg of 312 at POULTRY’s place. SPERM BURB followed me in and we got the keg re-tapped ready for the pack behind us. FREE VD again was one of the first to make it to the ON-IN where we meet STUPID MAN and MOUTHFUL of MEAT waiting for us.
The Hares were quickly back and JUST JEROME got on the grill cooking some delicious beer brats for us as CHICKEN got the circle going. Our FRB’s were TWO TIKS, LIFA, and FREE VD, or the human gazelle. Our DFL was FISTFUL of PRICKS and our NRB’s were STUPID and MOUTHUL of MEAT. The RA got a huge down-down for great weather and the hares got numerous down-downs for the shitty trail, great food, and bad beer? Obviously we introduced the virgins of today and JUST JEN and JUST MAGGIE did the down-down or in JUST MAGGIE’s case a down-down BJ? ICE PRINCESS was busy swearing of Mothers Milk for the rest of his life during the circle and MOTOR WHORE-A was the beer wench for the day. The food was finally cooked so we closed circle and ate brats, beer, chips, potato salad, and Caesar salad.
After dinner we finally killed the Keg and finally got over to Maifest around 8 pm in Lincoln Square where we exchanged 312 beer for Hofbrau beer for the night. Hopefully next year we will have as good a time as we did this year see you Monday at the B-day hash for Santchsquatch.
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM Emeritus
Hare(s): Poultry F*cker and Just Shaina
Venue: Casa De Poultry - 2241 W. Ainslie just EAST of Western
Hash Cash: $8
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, North on Western & East on Ainslie a couplea blocks.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, take the Lawrence 81 East to Western, hoof it North on Western and East on Ainslie.
Driving 
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Western & Ainslie.
Chicago Hash #1600 5.24.09, 2pm @ Claddaugh Ring – 5th Annual Memorial Day Hash
Venue: A-B starting at Claddagh Ring - 2306 W. Foster (Western Brown Line Stop)
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $18 this will get you great food and lots of great GOOSE ISLAND BEER and a free #1600 shirt for the first 50 hashers to sign up!
Kick off Summer 2009 the right way with the 5th Annual Memorial Day Hash ending at the Virgins’ casa. Expect the full blown Memorial Day party at the on-in including several kegs of GOOD BEER, tons of great food and party games to keep those whose Ritalin perscriptions have run out entertained! !
• A –B run The B will be at CASA DE VIRGIN BANGER and RENTA VIRGIN
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, North on Western to Foster and East to Oakley.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, #81 Lawrence bus East to Western, North on Western to Foster and East to Oakley.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Foster & Oakley.
|
Anal Assault |
Motor Whore-a Mount Schwiiinga Mouthful of Meat OnOff - Blentar HHH Sweden Oral Pursusaion - Indyscent HHH PackHer Ass Peterbilt? Pissing Ditzy - Indyscent HHH Poultry F*cker Pussy Wipt - El Paso R-Tard-E Renta Virgin Rotten' Whore Salty gash ShowMe Your Tits - Indyscent HHH Smell This Snatchsquatch Super Stuf'her Virgin Banger Wall Bang'her |
• COST= $18 this will get you great food and lots of Beer Maybe a t-shirt?? The prepaids who hit the deadline will get shirts, after that it's a roll of the dice! But for 18 bucks where else in Chicago can you get this kind of all-day entertainment?? The defense rests.
• Hash Hotels: Days Inn Lincoln Park (~$100/night)
http://www.lpndaysi nn.com/index2. html
Arlington House (~$50/60/night) http://www.arlingtonhouse.com/
• Also a few hashers have offered up some Crash space so lease e-mail me if you wish to go this route chickenstiffer@ gmail.com
http://www.megabus. com/us/ For vistors who wish to travel for cheap.
CHICAGO HASH #1600 $18 Until May 1st $22 until May 10th $26 Until May 23rd and Finally $30 at the DOOR!!
If you pay via Paypal, including PayPal fees the prices are $18.82 until 5/1, $22.94 until 5/10, $27.05 Until May 23rd
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Chicken Stiffer & Erin Go Buff
CH3-GM's
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to .
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to .
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to .
Chicago Hash #1599 Monday 5.18.09 @ The Spot
Hare(s): Skunk Chaser and Pied Piper
Venue: The Spot - 4437 N. Broadway
Hash Cash: $8
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Wilson, hoof it a couplea blocks South on Broadway to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Montrose, Montrose #78 bus East to Broadway, hoof it a half block North to da bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to Broadway & Montrose. Parking is generally findable on the side streets but to the North and East you're in da hood!
Chicago Hash #1598 Monday 5.11.09 @ Kelly's Pub
HASH TRASH
May 11, 2009
Chicago Hash #1598
VENUE: Kelly’s Pub- LIFA’s 1,000 Hash
HARES: LIFA, Erin GO Buff
VIRGINS: Just Pablo, Just Ashley, Just Laurel
VISITORS: Pussy in Boots and Just Norma New York
HASHERS: Just Christine, R-tard-E, Snatchsquatch, Poultry F*cker, Chicken Stiffer, Ice Princess, Just Steve, Horn-e, Fistful of Pricks, Hoosier Daddy, Mouthful of Meat, Hot Pants, Just Willow, Asscapades, Shiggy Packer/Half Fag, Lower Whackoff, Cheesus, Just Job, Ginger Snatch, Just Amy, Calvin Klein, Batteries No Included, Motor Whore-a
TOTAL HASHERS – 30
The hash was free today for those that showed up to run because LIFA was willing to cover everyone’s hash cash that showed to run his shitty trail. 30 hashers showed up for this memorable LIFA run. ERIN GO BUFF was his co-hare and he had to borrow $20 from me before the hash began to pay for the beer stop. That makes it a net loss for me before I even ran of $12!! Its funny to note that even though I put out that there was free parking under the EL next to the bar that most people choose to park on the street. GINGER SNATCH and JUST AMY two latecomers were the only ones to use the free parking that night and they were then able to catch up with the pack. The hares laid this one live and the beer stop was at the house of CHEESUS where JUST ASHLEY, a virgin, lay in wait to give the pack their beer. WE gave the hares 15 minutes cranium start and they really only needed ten-minutes. While they left we conducted a short chalk talk with our 2 virgins and at the correct time the hash was out.
I stayed behind to guard bags and point latecomers like the above-mentioned GINGER and really latecomers CALVIN and BATTERIES in the right direction on trial. Back at the bar MOTOR WHOR-a showed up and we watched the beginning of what would turn out to be an awesome BLACKHAWKS game before the pack returned to conduct circle.
When the pack did return our FRB was ICE PRINCESS followed in by GINGER SNATCH as our FBI. Kevin Kelly, the owner of the place, treated the pack to a case of Berghoff beer in the back donated to the hash. We also had pitchers of beer for down-downs, which were skillful brought to the circle by HALF FAG and MOTOR WHORE-A or beer wenches for the night. We said hello to JUST NORMA and PUSS IN BOOTS, in from NY, who said they never heard so many songs before in circle. We were kept informed of the Hawks score and knew it was 3-3 after the 2nd period. LIFA was brought in numerous times for his 1000th run and shitty trail but when one hare drank all hares drank so ERIN GO BUFF drank with him. CALVIN got angry at SNATCHSQUATCH because SNATCH accused him of screwing up a song so CALVIN made SNATCH drink but CALVIN had to drink with him because when one RA drink all RA’s drink. JUST CHRISTINE who survived Polish Constitution Day made it for her 2nd hash and even has paid for Memorial Day Hash.
Some reboots that made it out today included LOWER WHACKOFF, JUST AMY, GINGER SNATCH, HOT PANTS, and CHEESUS. BATTERIES birthday is this week and she turns 21 and can finally drink legally with the hash. Finally we did get around to JUST PABLO, JUST LAUREL, and JUST ASHLEY our virgins for the night. We welcomed them and they seemed pleased with the events that took place this night. MAKE sure you sign up for the Chicago Hash #1600!!! Eventually the circle ended and most ran inside to catch the end of the hawk’s game, which we now know, ended in a 7-5 score with the Hawks winning.
After the game, a circle was reconvened with the intention of naming JUST GENESIS, HALF FAG, SHIGGY PACKER, Shiggy Shagger (in Horn-e’s write up from red dress), so many names for one hasher. CH3 hashers for the last couple of weeks have been asking to rename him because people who didn’t even know him at a Moon Hash named him, and they wanted to be involved in the naming process. He also was named due to an incident that took place on a CH3 trail so we took a quick vote from those present like ICE PRINCESS, SALTY, MOTOR, SNATCH, ASSCAPADE, CHICKEN, FISTFUL of PRICKS, MOUTHFUL of MEAT, and HOOSIER DADDY, and the vote was unanimous in favor of renaming him. JUST GENESIS was also in favor of being renamed in the CH3 hash, why he was named at the moon hash in the first place, no one knows? Suggestions of Half Fag, velicaraptor, t-rex, sideways cocksucker were suggested but ultimately JUST GENESIS is now “SCREWUNICORN to a DOLPHIN,” Good luck with that one!
Next week the hash will be at “THE SPOT” and hared by visitors PIED PIPER and SKUNK CHASER from KC. The Spot is near the corner of Broadway and Montrose.
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
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Hare(s): Erin Go Buff & Lifa
Venue: Kelly's Pub - 949 W. Webster Ave
Hash Cash: $8
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it two blocks South to Webster, Kelly’s is right next to the L tracks, like Party Central, except much closer.
.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, hoof it a block and half North to Fullerton, take the Fullerton #74 bus East to Sheffield, hoof it two blocks South to Webster, Kelly’s is right next to the L tracks.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and schlep your sled to whilst dodging Chicago’s ever-increasing supply of potholes and cruise to the intersection of Sheffield and Webster. Look for whatever parking you can find tho not much is good around there. Side streets are Zone 143 Permit after 6pm. If you wish to drive you are in luck Kelly's has parking next to the building under the el. Best way to access this is to use Sheffield if going north turn right in the alley right before you see Webster. Make a left under the EL and park your car. If you are cumming from the North Cross Webster and make an immediate left into the alley and park under the el on the left side. CARS MUST BE MOVED by MIDNIGHT!!!
Chicago Hash #1597 5.4.08 @ Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple) POLISH CONSTITUTION DAY HASH
May 4, 2009
Chicago Hash #1597
VENUE: Red Apple
HARES: Cuma Slutra, 69-Cent Man, Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Mike, Just Margaret, Just Christine, Just Nick, Just John
VISITORS: None
HASHERS: Just Kip, Just Steve, Are They Real, Horn-e, Ice Princess, Half Fag, Asscapade, Erin Go Buff, Lifa, Motor Whore-a, Mount Schwiiiinga, Just Wotk, Just Lech, Just Walter, Just Joe, Just Joel, W’all bangher, Just Dave, Mouthful of Meat, Salty Gash, Peterbilt, Poultry F*cker, Renta Virgin, Ernest Cummingway, Bloody Thighs, Just Shania, Snatchsquatch, Fistful of Pricks
TOTAL HASHERS – 36
Today was the annual Polish Constitution Day hash. Milwaukee and Belmont were still recovering from the actually celebration of this event over the weekend when the CH3 came to this neighborhood. 69-CENT MAN, VIRGIN BANGER, and CUMA SLUTRA were our hares of record. The trail laid was a pretty familiar one if you have run this neighborhood before. We based by the major points of interest Churches, bars, houses, etc. and had to endure the markings of 69-Cent man to get to the on-in. FRB’s today were CHICKEN and LIFA but they were helped by HALF-FAG, ERIN GO BUFF, and HORN-E today thru most of the trail. Our DFL’s who didn’t see the 7 pm sharp start time were JUST DAVE and W’all BANGHER. Sounds like JUST DAVID will be leaving soon and make his way back to France. He will miss the best part of Chicago….SUMMMER! !!!
Their was nothing too memorable about trail except for the Drunk Guy in the beginning that BLOODY THIGHS stepped on or 69-CENT MAN trying to get the back of the pack to do the circle jerk portion of the trail or MOTOR WHORE-A and her Penis whistle or ASSCAPADE wearing the only none red shirt in the place or the Absence of Ruji or MOUNT SCHWIIIINGA announcing POP as June 18 or PETERBILT showing up or JUST KIP, STEVE, JOEL running the 2nd CH3 hash or SCHWIIIINGA running for more food when they were going to close the buffet or ICE PRINCESS showing up late and selling CUBS tickets for $5 or HORN-E cornering another virgin or did I say PETERBILT showing up, so actually NOTHING EVENTFUL happened at this hash, what a bummer!!
The hash shut down a little earlier than usual because the restaurant had to close by 10 pm so SNATCH, MOTOR, FISTY, POULTRY, ICE-ICE BABY and I went to relax for another beer before we went home to bed. Next week the hash returns to the lovely confines of Lincoln Park at Kelly’s Pub. ERIN go BUFF will be our hare with LIFA weather outlook looks good for running so I will see you there unless I see you at RED DRESS first!!
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
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Hare(s): 69 Cent Man, Virgin Banger, Cuma Slutra
Venue: Czerwone Jabluszko (AKA Red Apple), 3121 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, 60618
Hash Cash: $13. This covers the full Polish buffet dinner, beer, tax & tip
NOTE WE ARE OUT AT 7PM SHARP (NOT THE USUAL 7:30) DUE TO THE CLOSING TIME OF THE RESTAURANT AT 10PM SO BE THERE BEFORE 7 IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH THE PACK!!!
We will depart at 7:00 sharp so that we can get back in time for the ON-IN and to enjoy their great food.
DRESS: Wear a Polish shirt (provided that it is not from a Polish beer company, as our sponsor, the Stawski Distributing Co., is brewing a new Polish beer under their own name).
DIRECTIONS: By car: From Warsaw, ND: Head east on 61st St NE toward 157th Ave NE; Turn right to merge onto I-29 S; Take exit 63A-B to merge onto I-94 E toward Minneapolis, Entering Minnesota; Take the exit on the left onto I-694 E; Take exit 58B for I-94 E toward Madison; Slight right at I-94 E
Entering Wisconsin; Continue on I-90 E, Partial toll road, Entering Illinois; Take Keeler exit; Turn left onto W. Irving Park Rd., Turn right onto N. Pulaski Rd.; Turn left onto N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.
From Panna Maria, TX: Head southwest on FM-81 toward Highway 380; Turn right at TX-123; Turn left at Farm Rd 81; Turn right at US-181; Take the ramp onto I-37 N; Take exit 133 to merge onto I-410 N; Continue on I-35 N; Slight right at I-35E N (signs for Fort Worth/ I 35W N); Take exit 428A for I-30 E toward Griffin St/ Texarkana; Keep left at the fork to continue toward I-30 E and merge onto I-30 E, Entering Arkansas; ke exit 143B to merge onto I-40 E/ US-167 N/ US-67 N toward Memphis
Continue to follow I-40 E; Take exit 277 to merge onto I-55 N toward Blytheville/ St Louis, Entering Missouri; Take exit 66A to merge onto I-57 N toward Chicago, Entering Illinois; Merge onto I-94 W; Take exit 45C for Belmont Ave toward 3200 N; Slight left at W Belmont Ave; Turn left at N. Hamlin Ave., Turn left at N. Milwaukee Ave.; Destination will be on the left.
By CTA: Milwaukee Ave. bus (#56); or Belmont bus (#77), exit at Hamlin Ave., walk south on Hamlin Ave., then southeast on Milwaukee Ave. to restaurant.
FMI: 312-409-BEER (2337), www.chicagohash.com
On-On!
69 Cent Man
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin (just before Milwaukee) hoof it South on Hamlin to Milwaukee and turn left (SE) about 1/2 block to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont. Cut 1/2 block South to Barry and either hoof it like six blocks West to Milwaukee or hop the aforementioned Belmont #77 bus to Hamlin, as described above, if you’re in a lazy kinda mood.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to just SE of Belmont & Milwaukee. Parking is ludicrously plentiful in Avondale and you may even be able to score a space in the restaurant’s lot out back. As Milwaukee is a diagonal street, the lot is kinda oddly-shaped in a sorta trapezoidal way..