Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1566 – 9.29.08 @ Flounder’s – Last Monday Night Hash of 2008!
"Smells like Foot Locker". ‘Nuff said, dems is NEW SHOES!!!
HASH TRASH
CHICAGO #1566
Monday Sept. 29, 2008 @ Flounders
HARES: Virtually Hung, Mount Schwiiinga
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: Hot Lips, Neon- Panama Hash, Soggy Deposit- Madison
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Sperm Diversion, Porcelain God, Barks on all Fours, Just Hee-Jai, Just John, Sir Poops A lot, Horn-e, International Virgin, Glory Hole, Magnetic Muff, Crop Duster, R-Tard-E, Just I Lean, Milk My Yak, Uploader, One Handed Typist, Its Too Soft, Just Eileen, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey,
TOTAL HASHERS =25
The day started off with heavy rains and cooler weather but as predicted the clouds and rains subsided and gave us a beautiful night for hashing which was preceeded by a White Sox winner and another game set for Tuesday!! The pack soon gathered at the appointed place and after watching the Sox win over the tigers we were ready to run. Our visitor NEON brought a horn that was longer and louder than even our own HORN-E. MOUNT SCHWIIINGA gave us our chalk talk and JUST I LEAN was confused about his name calling himself "CROP DUSTER" tonight?
The pack was off to the west with the real CROP DUSTER leading us over the Chicago River. The first split was found at Webster and Ashland I went north and was rewarded with an arrow once I crossed the river again so I was on!! SPERM DIVERSION and the PORCELAIN GOD were hot on my CHICKEN TAIL but we got slowed down with our first check at the next corner. I chose correctly again and was soon by myself running on Southport. I could hear the Horn of NEON behind us cutting through the night air keeping the pack together.
The trail snaked back and forth through the Lincoln Park green zone using alleys and even circle jerked around a park on Racine and Webster. Eventually the trail wound up at a check on Armitage with true trail going south and then back NW until it got to the corner of Armitage and Clybourn. The trail went west and ended at a beer stop on railroad tracks near the steel plant on the river. MILK MY YAK, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, SCHWIIINGA, and VIRTUALLY HUNG greeted us there with Bud and Lite beer. We drank our bellies full and were off through a crack in a fence JUST HEE-JAI was able to navigate the gate along with many of the other hashers.
We got back to the bar and Just Lisa our bartender was quick on the draw when it came to pitchers. INTERNATIOANL VIRGIN was on the run but seemed to take off early but we did miss her. JUST JOHN and JUST HEE-JAI were called in for being two timers. Our visitors HOT LIPS, NEON, and SOGGY DEPOSIST gave us a nice look at their bums when it came time for joke, a song or a body part!!! ITS TOO SOFT, MILK, BARKS, and JUST EILEEN were our non-runners tonight. CHICKEN was the FRB.
UPLOADER and SOGGY DEPOSIST drank together because when one Madison hasher drinks all Madison hashers drink. ONE HANDED TYPIST and PORCELAIN GOD were our Reboots. CROP DUSTER drank for semi-new shoes? All had fun but the funniest thing came last when little hashers were left. The hash on October 26th will see a name off between CROP DUSTER and JUST I LEAN. The winner of this contest will retain the name CROP DUSTER and the Loser will be named JUST I LEAN. The contest will be judged on best costume and whatever extra’s they come up with for our entertainment! !! Good luck Gentlemen and may the best hasher win!!
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
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Hare(s): Mt. Schwiiinga & Virtually Hung
Venue: Flounder’s – 2101 N Clyborn (at Dickens)
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite the Cubs clinching the NL Central title! Congrats Cubbies and go SOX!!!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Fullerton and either the Fullerton #74 bus West to Clyborn (hoof it three blocks Southeast) or Brown Line to Armitage, hoof it four blocks West and 2 blocks Northeast.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, jump on the Armitage 73 bus East to Clyborn, hoof it a couplea blocks Northwest or Blue Line to California and take the Fullerton #74 bus East to Clyborn, hoof it a few blocks Southeast.
Driving 
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Clyborn & Dickens. Parking on the Northeast side of Clyborn is fairly scarce and lotsa Zone 143 permit only areas, Southwest in the industrial area is much better.
Chicago Saturday Hash #4 – 9.27.08 @ Casa de W’all Bangher – Last Saturday Hash of Summer 2008!
Click here for GPS map of trail (disregard everything after mile 7 tho as silly me left the darn thing on for the ride home).
Hare(s): W’all Bang’Her, Sit’n Pee & Just Ira
Venue: Poitin Stil – 1502 W Jarvis
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite the fickle Fed allowing Lehman Brothers to implode but rescuing Others. Note earlier start time 1pm due to da Sox Game!
A-B with a post hash BBQ at the on-in! Weather looks to be spectacular too… what’s there not to like about this!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Jarvis. The bar is like 1/2 block East of the station.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to anywhere you can catch an Eastbound bus to the Red Line. Take that to Jarvis, bar is less than a block East.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Jarvis & Greenview. Parking is fairly plentiful around here as this is well outside of the Green Zone.
Chicago #1565 – 9.22.08 @ Casa de Stumpy by Loyola
Hash Trash Sept. 22, 2008 Casa De Stumpy
HARES: Stumpy and Virgin Banger
VIRGINS: Just Joe, Just Jessica, Just John, Just Hee-Jai, Just Julian
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Just Shaina, Poultry F*cker, Glory Hole, Sir Poops A lot, Calvin and Hobbes, Batteries Not Included, R-tard-E, Snatchsquatch, Chicken Stiffer, Bang Me Blow Me Get Me Off, Virtually Hung, 69-cent Man, Carpet Shagger, Princess Labia, Ernest Cummingway, Likes It On the Bottom, Horn-E, It’s Too Soft, Renta Virgin, Cums On I Lean, Bella (Carry On), Just I Lean, Mount Schwinga, Crop Duster, Bank of Spermeica,
TOTAL HASHERS= 32
The hash tonight celebrated the birthday of VIRGIN BANGER and STUMP HUMPER two excellent hashers both turned 27 tonight congratulations. 32 hashers came out for the run and celebrations with 5 virgins joining us most of them came because of RENTA VIRGIN!!! The trail was a fine showing of the Loyola Campus and Rogers Park. We did a quick chalk talk and in the midst of it CROP DUSTER showed up on his bike as usually sweaty and out of breathe. After our instructions we were off with 69-CENT MAN leading us out to the first check. I went NW but was soon called back by CARPET SHAGGER because the trail went east. VIRTUALLY HUNG and GLORY HOLE looked to be leading at this point with HORN-E trying to keep up. The trail ducked under a fence now I was FRB. Trail ran towards the lake and finally did cross Sheridan and ran behind some bar looking place on the lake maybe a good place for future summer on in. It was here I lost the pack and became the FRB.
Trail ran thru the Loyola campus and had a false trial towards the parking garage true trail ran north and behind the soccer/track field. Here there was a split and the trail ran over some rock behind an Apartment building on the lake and up the beach on the north side. Trail from here ran west and south until we came close to the corner of Devon and Clark where PRINCESS LABIA waited with the beer. CHICKEN the FRB waited for the pack on our next hasher in was JUST SHAINA so now we had our FRB and FBI. Soon the pack followed with BANK OF SPERMERICA, CALVIN KLEIN, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, and others rolling in. Our virgin Just HEE-JAI made it quickly to the beer stop as well. We sat under the street lights sucking on our beers for about ten minutes when SNATCHSQUATCH and R-TARD-E showed up late where had they been and what they were doing was up for debate but they did find the beer stop the goal of any hasher.
The pack made it back to the ON-IN where CALVIN our RA led us in circle and soon had our FRB and FBI out. The DFL’s were GUESS whom R-TARD and SNATCHSQUATCH. OUR virgins Just Joe, Just Jessica, Just John, Just Hee-Jai, and Just Julian learned what a down down was from the woman formerly known as I’M LATE AGAIN. IT’S TOO SOFT made it in his high collared shirt and tie with MOUNT SCHWINGA who won an award for best dressed hasher at some event. RENTA VIRGIN was in some kind of orgy tonight because she made all the virgins cum and PRINCESS LABIA kept shouting buy raffle tickets!! Overall it was a great backyard hash that lasted until the neighbor couldn’t stand us anymore.
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
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Hare(s): Stump Humper & Virgin Banger
Venue: Casa de Stumpy
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite extensive wind and water damage to the hash beer supply by Hurricane Ike.
Dare to stray outside the Green Zone to Rogers Park and come hash up North in the infamous Devon/Ridge/Clark Bermuda Triangle!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Loyola, hop the Devon 155 bus (runs about every 12 minutes that time of the day) right in front of the statio West to Paulina and hoof it just over a block South.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to pretty much anywhere you can catch an Eastbound bus to the Red Line. Then follow the directions from the Red Line, above. Neither easy nor elegant but saves the enviornment.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to block on Paulina between Highland and Thome, just over a block South of Devon. Parking should be as plentiful as government-funded bailouts of troubled financial institutions.
Thirstday #251 – 9.25.08 @ DANK Haus – 2nd Annual Pink Dress Run
Hare(s): Happy Ass Grabber & Rhotan
Venue: DANK Haus - 4747 N. Western
Hash Cash: $25 (gets you a T-shirt); $100 (gets you a dry fit T-shirt and prestige in donating to a great cause
Thirstday H3 – 2008 PINK DRESS RUN – "Help Save Second Base"
All proceeds to benefit The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer
September 25, 2008 Thirstday Night 7:00pm
Dank Haus located at 4747 N. Western in Chicago
Chief Breast – "Princess Labia"
Beer on Breasts – "Rhotan"
Hares on Breasts – "Happy Ass Grabber & Rhotan"
Likes Breasts – "No Penetration"
The Thirstday Pink Dress Run gives us a unique opportunity to support Breast Cancer awareness; this year, it also provides you the opportunity to invite others to support a good cause by making a tax deductible donation to the event in your honor. Please invite friends, family, co-workers and everyone you know to make a donation in your honor.
All donations made in your honor will be compiled to qualify you for a dry-fit t-shirt ($100) and get you closer to winning the "Likes Breasts The Best" highest fundraising award!…show me yours and I’ll show you mine. Contest and Prizes for:
Best Dressed – male and female
REGO IS NOW UP AT: http://www.30yearshashinginchicago.com/home.htm
There are two options for Rego this year:
Rego Fee of $25
Includes T-Shirt, Hasher Tag, Minimal Donation to Breast Cancer Awareness and a possible flashing of flesh
Sponsor – $100
Includes Dry Fit T-Shirt, Hasher Tag, Substantial Donation to Breast Cancer Awareness and a definite flashing of flesh
"Likes Breast the Best" – highest fundraising/donation overall
Chicago #1564 – 9.15.08 @ The Levee – Mexican Independence Day Hash
Hare(s): $0.69 Man & Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Levee – 4035 W. Fullerton Ave., Chicago, IL 60639.
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $8 despite the Cubs’ typical "June Swoon" finally showing up in September!
Hash Trash
Sept. 15, 2008 The Levee
HARES: 69-cent man, Chicken Stiffer
VIRGINS:
VISITORS: CUmLord, Dick long and prosper, Pussy Galore
HASHERS: Its Too Soft, Virtually Hung, Lifa, Sir poops, Just Rolando, Horn-e, Just I Lean, Cums On I Lean, Carpet Shagger, Crop Duster, Just Dennis, MudSucker
TOTAL HASHERS – 17
Well the Hash Happened, but I do not know how the trail went because I manned the beer stop tonight. I can definetly saw I was in the minority tonight with Mexicans on all the street corners waving flags and celebrating Mexican Independence Day. A little bird did tell me that the trail was short and shitty with numerous small marks hidden along the way laid by master hare 69-Cent Man. Our FRB was Horn-e and LIFA with CUMS ON I LEAN using her bike to complete the trail because there were no walkers. SIR POOPS complained bitterly that we were serving MGD and he wanted TECATE to celebrate the day!!!! We made it back to the on-in and there was MUDSUCKER and ITS TOO SOFT waiting for us!!! We had a short circle and some fun. Quote of the night by ITS TOO SOFT "Is the Iowa? No its West Chicago."
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
CUBS WIN 7-6 over the hapless BREWERS!!!!
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Celebrate Mexican Independence Day. This is the major Mexican Holiday (and not Cinco de Mayo). The custom for this holiday is that on the night of the 15th, in addition to drinking/singing/drinking/dancing/drinking, there is this Grito (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grito_de_Dolores) ceremony, where the politician in charge hollers "Viva" (long live) and a series of names of people who are long dead, and the crowd answers "VIVA." The RA will be given the script.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From the Lincoln Park/Lakeview "Green Zone": Red Line to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE (1 block west of Pulaski) by the Metra Station South side of Fullerton.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California, hoof it a couplea blocks Northwest on Milwaukee to Fullerton, Fullerton #74 bus all the way west to KEYSTONE.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Fullerton & KEYSTONE. I have never been there before but suspect parking should be rather okay.
