Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1538 – 3.30.08 @ She-nannigan's – Post Shamrock Shuffle Hash
Here's a pic of the hash 2008 Shamrock Shuffle team and friends with our second annual "beer in a box" at the postparty. Click on the "pictures" link to view this or any other album.
Hash Trash: 3/30/08
Hares: I Like Dick, Just I Lean
Venue: Shenanagin’s
VIRGINS: Just Neil, Just Mike, Just Mike, Just Matt
VISITORS:
HASHERS- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Just Brian, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, PackHer Ass, Ballsalotapus, Or-GE, R-Tard-E, Rotten Whore, Cum in My Assfault, Just Rob, Just Rob II, Super Stuffer, Just Pat, Odor Eater, Just Teresa, Magnetic Muff,
VIRGINS= 4
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 32
Many members of the CH3 went down to Grant Park to run the Shamrock shuffle today. SALTY, PACKHER, CALVIN, ROTTEN, ITS TOO SOFT, CHICKEN, OR-G, ODOR, JUST TOM, and MAGNETIC MUFF all ran some respectable times. After the race the whole group enjoyed the second year of beer in a box. OR-G, I, and SALTY went around begging for beer coupons from runners who were not going to use them and we had over 150 coupons for free beer. By the time we got to the hash at 2 pm we were very wasted. 32-hasers showed up to hash today nice job!!
JUST I LEAN and I LIKE DICK were our hares for today and laid three trails a walking trail, a jogging trail, and running trail. The pack slowly arrived at the bar and we even had a 4x4 try to park on the division street sidewalk to hash with us. The hares gave the chalk talk and the pack was gone with OR-G leading it. The trail wound around the lakefront and worked its way back to SUPER STUFFER’s place where he and MOUTHFUL of MEAT waited for the pack to arrive. JUST I LEAN proceeded to throw a can of beer to the GM, which hit him in the eye. Thank God the beer was cold so I used it as an ice pack. The Beer stop was superb and the pack enjoyed the beer and then took off for the bar.
CALVIN KLEIN led circle from the dance floor perch at the bar. He greeted our new virgins JUST NEIL, JUST MIKE & MIKE, and JUST MATT. ROTTEN WHORE was a big NON-RUNNER along with ODOR. The FRB was OR-G? And FBI CUMMA SLUTRA? CALVIN had a great old time running circle he even called out SUPER STUFFER and sang to him while he flipped the boy upside down!! The circle brought in SALTY and PACKHER ASS for outstanding running times at the Shamrock and JUST ROB II drank for being a reboot.
By this time I was way to unsober to remember much of the night. I do remember that after the circle ROTTEN WHORE, BATTERIES, CUMMA SLUTRA, and Even R-TARD-E tried to pole dance on the bar but R-Tard-E didn’t have the body for the pole so he was dismissed. The other Pole dancers entertained the hashers and all the other denizens of the bar. JUST PAT and ASSFAULT played a little one on one? People get your mind out of the gutter there was a basketball court in the bar. It looked like all had a good time so we will see you next week!!! Hopefully 60-degree weather SUNDAY!!
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
________
Hare(s): Just I Lean & Other Unindicted Co-Conspirators
Venue: She-nannigan's - 16 W Division
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite the US Air Force awarding the $35 billion airborne-refueling tanker contract to the Northrup-Grumman/EADS consortium's A330-based offering over the CH-3's half barrel-based tanker proposal.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Clark/Division, hoof it 1 1/2 blocks East to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Division, Division #70 bus East to Dearborn, bar is between Dearborn and State.
Driving 
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to your nearest Red Line stop and take the L. Cheep parking is about as easy to find as Jager bombs in Mecca. If you must drive, your best bet is West towards Cabrini Green where it thins out a bit, for obvious reasons.
2008 Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team results are up! We finished respectablly but as expected did not beat the running shoe store teams as those people are running fanactics. Too bad there isn't a beer drinking competition because our hash team would have flipped them like a cheese omelette!
Despite the rain and cold at the postparty a good time was had by all thanks to more beer tickets than we could possibly drink (which is saying something given we are HASHERS! Mad props to returning free beer ticket harvesting Champion Or-G (also our fastest runner!) as well as Deputy beer coupon collectors Chicken Stiffer and Salty Gash. OMG I must have had at least nine myself at the postparty and the hash was the kill shot for my day!
Shamrock Shuffle Hash Team Individual Results (top two times for each sex will count for the team overall results so Or-G and I will probably be the two dudes and Chicken Stiffer and Muff will count for the bimbos).
http://www.shamrockshuffle.com/CMS400Min/results_photos/index.aspx?id=3729
Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1537 – 3.23.08 @ Casa De Virtual – Easter Hash
Click here to view the trail on GPS courtesy of KGB.
Hash Trash: 3/23/08
Hares: Virtually Hung, Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Virtually Hungs Casa
VIRGINS: Just Nora
VISITORS:
HASHER- Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Cumma Slutra, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Just Charlie, Just Tom, Bloody Thighs, Stab’em and Slab’em, Lockness Cockster, Just Pat, Special Ed Giver, PackHer Ass, KGB, Happy Ass Grabber, Just Mike, Mr. Cheese Cake, CP, Mudsucker
VIRGINS= 1
VISTORS= 0
TOTAL HASHERS= 30
Last year saw the Easter Hash at Virtually Hungs place and 15 people showed, this year we doubled that to 30 hashers at casa Virtually Hung. Next year should we expect 45?
The day was great for hashing with 45-degrees and Sunny and many hashers like WRAPPER SNATCHER, ASSFAULT, BLOODY THIGHS and others had on cute bunny tails when they ran.
The chalk talk was completed in the alley behind VIRTUALLY HUNG’s place and the pack was off. CALVIN KLEIN was soon leading the pack east towards the lake with the LOCKNESS COCKSTER close behind. Mr. CHEESECAKE was out there somewhere but after the first missed check he caught trail heading east to Lakeshore Drive. The pack was stumped with a check on Lakeshore and Argyle until HAPPY ASS GRABBER and JUST PAT found the trail going north.
Soon the whole pack like SALTY and PACKhER ASS were following the trail west but this was after there was a big long false trail that most of the pack hit. The trail went through the north side neighborhoods until it ended at BLOODY THIGHS place. JUST NORA our virgin was the first woman in and the pack enjoyed a fine Special Export beer at the house of BLOODY THIGHS. We sat on our butts for 15 minutes and then it was getting cold so we ran back the couple of blocks to where we had more beer and CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT was making us some food.
Back at the home of VIRTUALLY HUNG we made the circle in the basement where CALVIN lead the circle in some songs? HAPPY talked about what does and does not happen after you get married to MILK MY YAK.
The hares were punished numerous times for the crappy trail? But great food. KGB, 8675309, Mr. CHEESECAKE, and others were reboots. CP is now considered a visitor to the CH3, and MUDSUCKER missed the circle completely. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED announced that we now have a Hash Bar Wiki so hares can find bars in their neighborhood that are hash friendly. JUST STEFF and JUST I LEAN had to take off early so Steff could make her way to Madison via the bus at Midway.
Eventually the circle closed and people began to go upstairs for food and more beer!! JUST BRIAN and JUST CHARLIE had a good time talking with CP. CP seemed to turn a little red during their conversations over what I have no idea. ITS TOO SOFT again was snapping all the pictures he could get before the hash was over. Hope to see you next week at the SHAMROCK SHUFFLE POST HASH.
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
____________
Hare(s): Virtually Hung & Cum In My Assfault
Venue: Casa De Virtual - 4619 N. Magnolia
Hash Cash: Still only a meager $6 despite Berkshire Hathaway reporting record earnings of $13.1 Billion in 2007. Warren Buffett rocks!!
Note Easter Dinner will be provided! Another of Virtual's fabulous Easter fete hashes although last year will be hard to top!
To help us plan to NOT RUN OUT OF FOOD it would be appreciated if you could give the hare a heads up if you're thinking of coming!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Wilson, hoof it a couplea blocks West to Magnolia and 1/2 block North on Magnolia.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Montrose, CTA #78 Montrose bus (cuts over to Wilson at Clark) to Magnolia, hoof it 1/2 block North on Magnolia.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Wilson & Magnolia. This is Uptown so parking is usually quite plentiful in that 'hood. May not want to bring the "nice" car tho.
Chicago Hash Bar Wiki
As announced at last Sunday's hash, the Chicago Hash House Harriers is pleased to announce the first (that we are aware of) Hash Bar Wiki on Earth.
Just like Wikipedia, we have made available online to all our database of hash-friendly and/or previously hashed out of bars as well as links to Google maps and any comments like who the managers/contacts are as well as any information on specials they have offered the hash in the past.
As this is intended to be a dynamic, living resource we encourage members of the Chicago area hash community to add to his collective knowlege base with their own information about hash-friendly area bars.
Mad props go out to Giddy-Up or creating this resource as well as the rest of Chicago MisManageMent who have been populating it with their knowlege of area bars!
So if you're thinking of haring or just like to go out to "hash-type bars" this resource is for you!
Party on on,
It's Too Soft
Consigliere, Hash Flash, Web Dude and Chief Sarcasm Officer
Chicago HHH
Chicago #1536 – 3.16.08 @ Gamekeepers – Mt. Schwiiinga Birthday Hashapalooza
New! Click here for Cuma Slutra's Pix from Chicago #1536 @ Gamekeepers! 70 pictures of 13-person hash! Yowzers!
Check out the link above but as a bonus here's the group shot from Big Hump Green Dress that same weekend.
Also here's a rare photo opp where we came across the St. Louis Police's special "DWI Enforcement Vehicle". We should probably have been cited for RWI on trail! Left 2 right Just I Lean, Sexorcist, Do My Butt and ITS.
Hare(s): Mt Schwiiinga
Venue: Gamekeepers - 345 W. Armitage
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite the fact that pretty much the entire CH3 MisManageMent will be very hungover and on Amtrak or Megabus (Megabar?) back from St. Louis Big Hump Green Dress! Will there be another Lifa coup?
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, Brown Line to Armitage, hoof it like six blocks due East to the Lincoln/Armitage/Sedgwick six-way, bar is on the SE corner next to Stanley's.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, schlep a couplea blocks North to Armitage, Armitage #73 bus runs every 20 minutes on the 04/24/44's, the 2:04 bus should get you there by 2:20.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Armitage/Lincoln/Sedgwick six-way intersection. Not the best and not the worst place to find parking. Side streets are Zone 143 permit after 6pm, as always check your meters as many in Beverly Hills 60614 require regular Sunday feedings.
Chicago Spring MisManageMent Meeting – Monday 3/24, 7pm @ Hidden Shamrock
"Hare(s)": GM Chicken Stiffer and CH3 MisManagement
Venue: Hidden Shamrock - 2723 N. Halsted St.
Chicago, IL 60614 - 773.883.0304
http://www.thehiddenshamrock.com/flash.html
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it four blocks North to Diversey and head East on Diversey 2 blocks to Halsted or Brown Line to Wellington, two blocks East to Halsted and South three blocks to Diverrsey. Or just walk a few blocks from home..
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus East to Halsted, schlep four blocks South to Diversey, 1/2 block West to bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Halsted. Find parking by meters or side streets. Watch out cuz there's lotsa Sunday meters up there in Fujiland so check to be safe.
CH3 Agenda
3/24/08 at 7 pm
Hidden Shamrock
2723 N. Halsted
GM REPORT
A. Budget
1. Verify funds We have $1078 in hash cash.
2. Hash Tax and cash kept at $1 per person and $6 total?
3. Turn over $1000 for new GM in 2009.
4. $248 sales in haberdashery with numerous shirts around
5. We have been self funded for the last six months NO HASH TAX HAS BEEN COLLECTED in six months
6. Ok New budget
B. ANTHRAX Hash –Quick notes
1. Technically is in the hole $179 but still have numerous shirts to sell
2. Do we do this again next year?
3. ANTHRAX HASH DEC. 20 2 pm?
C. Calendar
1. Polish Constitution day hash MAY 5, 2008 maybe will start at 7 PM sharp?
2. Memorial Day Hash SUNDAY May 25, 2008
3. POWER OF THE PUSSY (POP) July 11-13 Weekend!! Talk to MOM, Batteries, Salty, PackHer, Schwiinga, 867
4. Possible date for 1569 hash is October 18, 2008 marathon is Oct. 12 that date is out.
5. August 31, 2008 Labor Day Hash at ITS TOO SOFT. Also August 16, 2008 Air and Water Show Party
6. R-Tard-E wants to do a campout at his Place in Wisconsin over the Summer. Late July early August?
COMMITTEE REPORTS
D. Hare Razor- Mouthful and Batteries
1. NICE JOB KEEPING US WITH HARES
2. Have a new Bar wiki so hares can find hash friendly Bars.
3. Phone line will only carry CH3 updates other hashes have decided not to be part of hash line.
E. WEB dude and Social chair- GREAT WORK IN UPDATING THE WEBSITE
1. ITS TOO SOFT now puts out the CH3 hareline.
2. If you want to be put on or taken off the CH3 Hareline tell him.
3. NEW CH3 Website will be out shortly thanks to ONE HANDED TYPIST
F. Haberdashery could use new Haberdashery- MILK MY YAK WAS FIRED
1. The past two years have seen us make $800 dollars on Haberdashery sales. This year alone we have made $248
2. Have plenty of t-shirts to sell along with other left over things.
3. Might have to buy new lanyards this year no whistles needed yet.
4. New 30th anniversary design is out.
G. RA’s & circle: Calvin?
1. Do we want to train another RA?
2. New songs?
H. Misc
1. May 10, 2008 Waukesha Red Dress
2. May 17 INDY PROM DRESS Hash
3. JUNE 27-29 DAYTON CAMPOUT weekend
4. Sept. 6th Cubs in Sin City ROAD TRIP?
New Business
- Raise Hash Tax?
- Hare cost is rising do to large numbers have hashers showing up what do we do?
- Anthrax do we do it again or a Chicago Fire Hash in October with 1569?
- 30th Anniversary?
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM
Chicago #1535 – 3.9.2008 @ Timeout Sports Bar
Even if you weren't there check out the pix from the Replacement Fujirazzi. I gotta watch my back because she could take my job! Great work!
Hare(s): Just Steph
Venue: Time Out Sports Bar - 4641 N Rockwell, 50 feet from the Rockwell Brown Line stop. NOTE LOCATION CHANGE!!!
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 and will likely remain so for some time as the outcome of the recent Russian presidential election where Dmitry Medvedev won by a Chicken Stiffer-like 70.2% of the vote.
Note the South Side Irish Parade is also this day, so somebody please snap some pix cuz the Fujirazzi's going to be in Beverly @ 112th & Western celebrating with his fellow Irishmen from County Clare (it was O'Fujimoto before it got shortened at Ellis Island)!
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont. Brown Line to Rockwell. Schlep 50 feet to da bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, Western #49 bus North to Eastwood (1 blk North of Wilson) and then boots on the ground 2 blocks West to the bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Rockwell & Eastwood (just North of Wilson and 2 bls West of Western). Parking in this area is as plentiful as Tequila in Guadalajara.
Tale of the Non-Trail: Chicago 2008 Hash Ball – 3.1.2008 @ Janina's Gin Mill & Saloon
Here's a pic of Rent a Virgin and Virgin Banger showing the two sides of Chicago. Pix are on nav bar to the left!
Hare(s): CH3 MisManageMent & the 2008 Hash Ball Special Events Committee
Venue: Janina's Gin Mill & Saloon - 3457 N. Milwaukee
Hash Cash: A measly $35 at the door, if available.
Doors open 7:30pm!
It's real simple, dinner, drinking and debauchery!
Come dressed as anything to do with Chicago - Let your imagination run wild!!! Or just dress to impress.
Registration includes grub, beer, (Milk My Yak will be supplementing our kegs of Macrobrew with his own homebrew recipes, and as a bonus you are allowed to bring your own wine) plenty of drunk dancing and general hash fun.
Whooz cuming so far?
Dr. Poolittle - TH3
Just Tracie - TH3
Just Carole - Somewhere in Colorado
Just Nettie - CH3
Just Angelle - CH3
Hot Lips- GRH3 GM
Just Mike- GRH3
Calvin Klein- CH3
Batteries not Included- CH3
Odor Eater- CH3
Rotten Whore- CH3
Mount Schwiinga- CH3
Chicken Stiffer- CH3
Just Martin- ???
Spotted Cock- CH3
Magnetic Muff-CH3
Virtually Hung- CH3
Horn-E- CH3
Milk My Yak- CH3
Barks on all Fours- CH3
LIfa- CH3
SUper Stuffer- Ch3
Mouthful of meat- CH3
Ballsalotpus- CH3
R-Tard-E - CH3
Just Rob- CH3
Just Stef- CH3
Just I LEAN- CH3
PACKhER ARSE- CH3
Mudsucker- CH3
Its Too Soft- CH3
Ez on the ASS- CH3
Just Tom- CH3
Flying Hooters- CH3
Are they Real- CH3
One Handed Typist-CH3
Just Jenn- CH3
No Penetration- CH3
Wrapper Snatcher- SDH3-----> CH3 good trade
Virgin banger- CH3
Renta Virgin- CH3
Click here to download the rego form in PDF format
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Addison, Addison #152 bus West to Kedvale (2 blks East of Milwaukee and 1 blk East of Keeler), hoof it two blocks South to the bar which is at the corner of Kedvale and Milwaukee.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Addison, hoof it West to Kedvale (2 blks East of Milwaukee and 1 blk East of Keeler), hoof it two blocks South to the bar which is at the corner of Kedvale and Milwaukee, or just take the Milwaukee #56 bus to Milwaukee & Kedvale.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie whist contributing to increased desertiziation of Sub-Saharan Africa and cruise to the corner of Milwaukee & Kedvale. On-street parking is about as plentiful as intoxicated snowmobilers in Wisconsin this time of the year.
We rented out their backroom so we can bring in all the food and beer we want and trust me we will avail ourselves admirably of that privilege and it will be GLORIOUS. There will be a DJ and plenty of drunk dancing by the end of the night. Anyone caught taking pictures of It's Too Soft dancing or smooching will join Jimmy Hoffa under the North end zone of Giants Stadium.
This is what happens when you mix too much beer, too much food and too much good times with the Chicago Hash House Harriers. BTW - Chicken Stiffer was re-enlisted for yet another tour of duty as GM!
HASH BALL 3/1/08
ATTENDEES=49
Just Carole, Just Nettie-, Just Angelle- CH3, Hot Lips- GRH3 GM, Just Mike- CH3??, Calvin Klein- CH3 ,Batteries not Included- CH3 , Odor Eater- CH3, Rotten Whore- CH3, Mount Schwiinga- CH3, Chicken Stiffer- CH3, Just Martin- ???, Spotted Cock- CH3, Magnetic Muff-CH3, Virtually Hung- CH3, Horn-E- CH3, Milk My Yak= CH3, Barks on all Fours- CH3, Lifa- CH3, Super Stuffer-Ch3, Mouthful of meat- CH3, Ballsalotpus-CH3, R-Tard-E - CH3, Just Rob- CH3, Just Stef- CH3, Just I LEAN- CH3, PACKhER ARSE- CH3, Mudsucker- CH3, Its Too Soft- CH3, Ez on the ASS- CH3, Just Tom- CH3, Flying Hooters- CH3, Are they Real- CH3, One Handed Typist-CH3, Just Jenn- CH3, No Penetration- CH3, Wrapper Snatcher, Virgin banger- CH3, Renta Virgin- CH3, Just Ken- KCH3, Just Tyrone And Just Tyrone II, Dr. Poolittle- TH3, Mrs. Poolittle-TH3, Just Rob, W’All Bangher, Anal Assault, Just Ed, Shiggy Piggy
I was very happy to see all of you make it to hash ball this year at Jania’s, if you missed it you missed one hell of a time. I would first like to thank ROTTEN WHORE and MOUNT SCHWIIINGA who helped to plan or set-up this event. ODOR EATER as always played the part of our awesome DJ. I would like to say one of my first moves, as the CH3 GM is that I am firing MILK MY YAK from haberdashery. I am relieving him of his duty because he is lazy good for nothing hasher that has not been doing his job by bringing and selling haberdashery to the CH3 hash.
On the flip side MILK MY YAK has been hired as the CH3 Brew master. Those of you present for hash ball witnessed LIFA jumping over the bar to get the last drop of IPA from the keg of beer that MILK made. I have never seen LIFA react this way to beer unless it was good beer like Sam Adams so this beer must have been something and my hangover proves it. I would like to also thank CALVIN for announcing the winners of the hash
awards.
Many thanks go to BATTERIES for taking the time to careful count well over 55 ballots from hashers. Word on the street is BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED is now cross-eyed.
The best costume would have to go to NP for his Oprah impression or EZ ON THE ASS for his Tamales impersonation. WRAPPER SNATCHER and JUST STEPH played the part of two sexy playboy bunnies with JUST I LEAN their pimp Hugh Hefner. VIRTUALLY HUNG was a representative of the fine German ethnic group with his lederhosen on.
Everyone looked great and was ready to have a good time. I had to laugh though because so many people thought there was not enough food or beer. Well I still have left over food if anyone wants it and the MGD keg was left over for the next days hash. We basically had 45 gallons of beer for 45 hashers or one gallon per hasher and at least 7 bottles of wine.
MAGNETIC MUFF brought her good friend HOT LIPS in from Grand Rapids to have some fun with us tonight and I think they did. JUST NETTIE and JUST ANGELLE looked like images from the White city worlds fair and later in the evening we were invaded by SHIGGY PIGGY who gave away all of her haberdashery maybe I got some and maybe I didn’t I just do not remember.
The party broke up around midnight for me but rumors abound that the party lasted until morning for some. Next time I need to remember that MILKS beer is at least double the alcohol content of regular beer, and thanks for electing me CH3- GM for another year.
CHCKEN STIFFER
CH3- GM
Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1534 3.2.08 @ Dugan's / Casa de Rotn' – Post Hash Ball Hangover Hash
Click here for the official GPS Map of trail. Newly re-elected GM Chicken Stiffer was too hungover to make it out for the run itself but somehow showed up at the on-in.
Below is the Megabus taking a break off duty on Des Plaines between Polk and Taylor on Sunday's trail, probably resting for the big Chicago Green Dress invasion coming in two weeks. We have yet to photograph the legendary double-decker Megabus species tho. But mad props to Hot Lips (right) who as GM of Grand Rapids was not only the one person crazy enough to roadtrip out for Hash Ball but also at the Hangover Hash beer stop managed to trade a crappy gringo beer (Miller High Life) for a crappy Mexican cervesa (Modelo Especiale) with the locals!
Hash Trash: 3/2/08
Hares: Rotten Whore, Odor Eater
Venue: Rottens Place
VIRGINS: Just Stephanie, Just Pops, Just Janet
VISITORS: Hot Lips
HASHER- Horn-e, Chicken Stiffer, Wrapper Snatcher, Just Stef, Virtually Hung, Cumma Slutcha, Just Brian, Its Too Soft, Milk My Yak, Just I LEAN, Lifa, Just Rob, Salty Gash, Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Magnetic Muff, Just Ryan, Moldy Man Sac, Lifa, 8675309, Mouthful of Meat, Up Loader, R-Tard-E, Just Tara, Just Charlie, Just Tim, Just Andy, Just Kevin, Just Kristen
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 35
The day after hash ball was billed as a hangover hash and the GM came fully prepared to meet those conditions. I don’t know what the rest of you were thinking but shouldn’t all of you have come late to the hash with a raging headache and shaking knees? The day had 50-degree weather and with nice weather out comes the hashers, 35 hashers to be exact. I really can’t comment about the trail because I was on a bus making my way south, but I did hear that many people missed the beer stop?
Good thing the hash ball had left an over keg for hashers at the on-in. I made it right in time for the circle run by our own CALVIN KLEIN. He quickly punished the hares, ROTTEN WHORE and ODOR EATER. Our FRB was I don’t fucking know and our FBI was I don’t fucking know because I was still drunk. I do know that we had three virgins show up that laughed their asses off at our hash songs. JUST POPS, JUST STEPHANIE, and JUST JANET cannot wait to come back next week. JUST TARA gets a shout out for inviting them to the hash. JUST I LEAN finally turned 23 today and if you haven’t seen him we have renamed him TOM CRUISE……… Not!!!!!
It was nice to see MOLDY MAN SAC and 8675309 make it out today I guess a warm Sunday without football is all we need to get him to hash. Please do not tell him about Arena Football. MILK MY YAK was pouring beer today for the hash.
If you haven’t heard MILK MY YAK has been officially fired from the Haberdashery, but was been retained by the CH3 Mismanagement as the official Brew Master of the CH3 due to his supreme efforts of making tasty beer for the hash ball. CUMMA SLUTCHA and JUST BRAIN (our plumber) made it out today and even found time to down a few slices of Pizza, which I have been told is the largest pizza hashers have every seen in Chicago.
That ZA was 22 inches strong I’m sure not as big as ITS TOO SOFT but close. Eventual the circle was closed and most came inside to await the arrival of that large pie. Well I hope to see you out next week and check out the Green Dress Hash link if you are still thinking about joining 18 CH3 hashers in St. Louis.
Click here for Green Dress Info
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
----
Appendix by It's Too Soft who actually dragged his very hungover ass out on trail:
As expected, the day started off badly with the trusty alarm clock going off at the weekday setting of 6:35am Sunday morning which reminded me why I should have given up BEER for LENT. I don't care what Milk My Yak said about "formulating lower-alcohol versions of his homebrews" but to paraphrase my friend Beth's grandmother, "that's horsefeathers" or to quote Bill Paxton in the movie Aliens - "I don't know if you've been paying attention to current events but we just got our asses kicked out there!" after his platoon of Colonial Marines was decimated by the aliens. Hash Ball was a blast but man, we paid the price.
Irregardless, I managed to drag myself out of bed at the crack of noon, slam a cup of coffee that could kill a small horse (that European stuff we get at work can be brewed kick-ass strong), and trundle down to Dugan's (via my trusty steed, the Halsted #8 CTA bus) only to find that in addition to the hash my friends Kevin and Stacy and their post-church bar crew were gathered for a few cold ones after Mass. Nothing like being at a bar where you know practially everyone in the joint.
Back outside for the chalk talk, on a surprisingly warm day (given the weeks of subfreezing/near zero temps) Rotn and her Eagle Trail backup hare Horn-E debriefed the crew with the usual marks and then it was on out down South. The GPS captured the essence of the trail, interestingly we ran into the Megabus resting on Des Plaines, and there was a turkey/eagle split just on the other side of Halsted by Morgan's. Since I had the GPS I decided to follow the eagle as the rest of the crew I was with peeled off onto the turkey.
Despite what others may have said, Horn-E laid a very well-marked and swept eagle trail and I had no problems wending my way through all those new "University Village" condos and townhomes to finally make my way to beer stop at a "U"-shaped Chicago Public School (I forgot the name) by Sheridan Park only to find that despite the fact I was near the rear there were only a handful of hashers there. Where was the rest of the pack? Vegas money had it they bee-lined for Casa de Rotn but we may never really know. But for those of us who were there we had plenty of beer even though we were apparently encroaching on the regular beer drinking hangout of some Mexican-Americans. In the interest of maintaining good international relations with our neighbors to the South, Hot Lips did manage to trade one of our Miller High Lives for a Modelo Especiale with them, essentially trading crappy gringo beer for crappy Mexican beer. Viva globalication!
After the beer stop the pack headed back to Casa de Rotn & Odor where we were joined by the rest of the pack and a bunch of non/slower runners and we killed the keg and got pizzas the size of Nebraska as Chicken mentions. Given we had plenty of hash cash we made an emergency beer run and got five 30 packs of more cost-effective beer of which I suspect at least three were left over as a bunch of us skated to Whirlyball on Fullerton to celebrate the 12th birthday of Just I Lean. Rotn will probably be drinking what's left of those 30's until Summer!
Fuji
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Hare(s): Rotn' Whore
Venue: Dugan's Drinking Emporium - 128 S Halsted (between Monroe & Adams)
Hash Cash: Still only a mere $6 despite Congress and the Bush Administration passing a $186 Billion economic stimulus program.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Monroe you can either hoof it like eight blocks West to Halsted or if you're lazy can schlep one block North and catch #20 or #127 buses Westbound on Madison to Halsted. Another good solution from the North side is take the Halsted #8 bus down to Monroe.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Monroe and the aforementioned eight block slog Westward or altenatively get off the Blue Line at Milwaukee/Halsted and take the Halsted #8 bus to the bar.
Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Monroe and Halsted. Should be plenty of meter spots on street but check to make sure they're not Sunday meters.