Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1519 Post Thanksgiving ADD Hash @ O'Lanagan's
Hare(s): Super Stuffer & Just Steve
Venue: O'Lanagan's - 2335 W. Montrose Ave. Chicago (Lincoln Square)
Hash Cash: $6
Hash Trash: 11/25/07
Run: 1519
Hares: Super Stuffer & Just Steve
Venue: O'Lanagan's - 2335 W. Montrose Ave
Virgins: 3 (or was it 4? – hey, am I a great scribe or what!)
Visitors: 1 (2, if you think CP is a visitor)
Hashers: A bunch of 'em including Canned Pussy, Magnetic Muff, Special Ed Giver, Sir Poops a Lot, Lifa, Virtually Hung, Pack 'er Ass, Just Saud, Happy Ass Grabber, General Ass Pounder, Just Tyrone, Just Melissa, Wall Bang Her, Just Tom, Just John, Just Jennie, Just Steve, Super Stuff `er and probably a few others that aren't written on this torn paper plate I'm reading from.
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A double-virgin haring? We all cringed at the start, knowing that the result would be at least one of:
1. The on-out being too close to the on-in, causing the pack to skip 90% of the trail.
2. The hares using "cute" trail markings that no one can understand and thus causing the pack to skip 89% of the trail.
3. The marks being so small/infrequent/ hidden/hard- to-see that the pack will give up and miss 88% of the trail.
4. The hares deciding on the theme of "we're going to make this the longest hash run ever" causing everyone but Happy Ass Grabber to take a taxi to the finish.
Or worse yet...
1. The bar wouldn't tolerate our antics.
2. The beer would be shitty/warm/ expensive.
Amazingly none of this happened, and even more amazingly the trail was actually damn good. Super Stuff `er started us off by providing the chalk talk while being chastised by the circle for not being explicit enough for the virgins. We were warned that this was an ADD run, and that if we found ourselves on the trail without chalk marks, we should follow shiny objects instead.
After the usual introductions, we spotted our first shiny object (aluminum foil) on a tree across the street in Welles Park and soon thereafter found the first check. Virtually Hung quickly figured it out and led us north toward Lawrence Ave. We veered west and proceeded to make something like 11 left turns in a row, covering every inch of street, alley and parking lot available. Crossing the river on Wilson, a check mixed up the pack for a few minutes, but 50~60 chalk arrows were finally found on the Lawrence Bridge bringing us to the beer stop at the hare's mother's house. There was a beer cooler and a couple dozen beer bottles on the back deck, along with a woman looking out the window with a "what have you freaks done to my son" look on her face. The pack guzzled nectar in the cold and endured a 1/2 mile run back to the on-in. Well done hares.
The stand-in RA was Virtually Hung, and he dispensed a bunch of well-deserved down-downs of which I have no recollection because I was very busy talking and interrupting the circle. What I do recall is the complete absence of mismanagement members. What could have happened? Did they move the hash to Saturday and not tell anyone? Did the CH3 corporate jet go down while en route to another junket in Indy/Cincy/Big Hump/Madison/ Waukesha? Assuming that the later was most likely the case, a new mismanagement was immediately installed:
Grand Mistress: Cunt & Pasties
Hare Razer: Super Stuff `er
Haberdasher: Sir Poops a Lot
Religious Adviser: Just John
Hash Cash: Bloody Thighs
Web Master: Horn-E
Hash Flash: Wall Bang Her
Hash Scribe: Lifa
Hash Sex Therapist: Magnetic Muff
Hash Human Shield: EZ on the Ass
Hash Belligerence Consultant (emeritus): Boner Malfunction
I believe C & P will be conducting her first mismanagement meeting next Sunday, but it's hard to read the date through the grease mark on this plate.
On-On,
Lifa
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[Editor's Note: Thanks to the "replacement players" for keeping this week's hash going.
Rumours of a coup have been greatly exaggerated. In fact, the CH3 Mismanagement Dassault Falcon 9x Jet has returned safely from Yangon where the Generals of Myanmar kindly hosted seminars on "How Run A Tighter Ship In You Junta", "Quashing Pesky Democratic Idealism", "How to Knit Nice Tea Cosys For the Holidays From Lightly Used Buddhist Monk Vestments" and "Without Constant Vigilance, Even Your Team Could Be Upset By the Chicago Bears". Expect business as usual next week.]
- Fuji
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The ADD hares promise a trail with lots of distractions for marks including shiny things like tin foil, balloons and bits of paper. Hopefully the hares themselves don't get distracted by something (like a hangover) and forget to lay trail! Ritalin NOT included in hash cash.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit 
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, hoof it four blocks South on Western Montrose and cut East (left) or shortcut thru Welles Park, or take the Red Line to Wilson and catch the Montrose #78 bus West to Western.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Irving Park, Irving Park #80 bus East to Western, hoof it three blocks North to Monrose.
Driving 
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to the corner of Western & Montrose and cut East 1/2 block to the bar. Plenty of street parking in the local 'hood.
Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1518 @ J&M Tap
Hare(s): Just Molly & Just Katherine
Venue: J&M Tap - 957 N Leavitt (@ Augusta)
Hash Cash: $6
"The only thing imaginable worse than crappy beer is warm, crappy beer."
---Fuji quote of the day
Hash Trash: 11/18/07
Hares: Just Molly & Just Katherine
Venue: J & M Tap
VIRGINS: J Cubed, Just John
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Just Steve, Chicken Stiffer, Just Rob, Horn-e, Boner, Frosted Discharge, Its Too Soft, Just Rob, Princess Labia, Good Swallow, Chip’n Dale, Balz, Sex Luthor, Green Goblin, Mount Schwiiinga, Lifa, Just Josh, Just Marty
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 23
The hash weekend started with the hello To SMELL THIS and goodbye to BONER party on Saturday night. We had numerous people show up. HUMPY DUMBTY, SMELL THIS, BONER, CHICKEN, MOUTHFUL, SUPER STUFFER, LATE AGAIN, ODOR EATER, ROTTEN WHORE, ONE HANDED TYPIST, JUST CRAIG, ITS 2 SOFT, CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT and others for a total of about 25 people who came out for this CH3 drinking party.
This hash started at the famed J & M tap and was hared by our virgin hares JUST MOLLY and JUST KATHERINE. They had originally chosen a bar with no pitchers but made the fortuitous decision to call the GM and ask if this would be a problem to which I said hells Yes!! They made a good choice of making the J & M tap their ON-IN because we got $6 pitchers and some free pizza. The pack was off after we stuffed our bags in JUST ROB'S truck.
We welcomed JUST BALLS to the hash, a friend of MOUNT ME PUH’LZEE. The pack made their way to the outside and the hares did a great job in explaining the hash marks to our Virgins J CUBED and JUST JOHN. The pack ran down an alley and JUST ROB in his matching shoes and shorts lead the pack in the beginning. JUST STEVE was seen climbing every fence in sight much like MR. HYDE does in the movies. MOUNT SCHWIIINGA and BONER were holding down the back of the pack due to hangovers???? We ran by Clemente High School and crossed Division. The pack made its way to Humboldt Park and ran around the lagoon.
CHIP’N DALE was the leader at this point with our Virgins and found trail going west to the beer stop at the home of JUST MOLLY and JUST KATHERINE. They served us a 30 of very inaptly-named Icehouse, which should have been called Warm House?? I think they stored it on top of the radiator overnight before bringing it out for the beer check. We stayed there for a few minutes while JUST MOLLY burned her fingers inside on the oven. She goes to U of Chicago and doesn’t know what an oven mitt is?? The pack was soon on out and LIFA was quick to find trail back to the bar with SEX LUTHOR and the GREEN GOBLIN.
Back at the bar the pack had to wait until the Bears halftime because the game started at 3 pm. If the NFL hadn’t changed the start time only the week before we would have run this hash at 1 pm so the pack wouldn’t piss of the bar patrons by singing during the game. This caused a few hashers to leave early and the circle was started around 5 pm, about 30 minutes after we got back. We punished the hares for such a wonderful trail. The FRB was JUST ROB. JUST STEVE was pointed out for being a racist in the hash because he was happy to beat JUST ROB to the beer stop. JUST MOLLY also accused JUST ROB for stealing JUST HARRSONS birthday cake but that is perfectly acceptable hash behavior so we made JM drink with her co-hare. We sent off JUST BONER to Florida with the song “IT’S A SMALL DICK AFTER ALL!!!” after he requested the song a 12 inch hard-on!! Nice try BONER!!!
We welcomed J Cubed and Just John to the hash as virgins they are looking to start a hash in Bloomington, Illinois. We wish them well and the Chicago Hash will support their efforts. WE welcomed back our 6-month reboot FROSTED DISCHARGE who has been running races over the summer. MOUNT SCHWIINGA has been busily creating the ANTHRAX logo for the hash this year and then the Circle was closed because the Bears game was back on. The pack was disappointed but I felt it was better to close the circle then risk making the regulars mad and anyways we did eat most of their pizza and ate JUST ROBS cake!!! Just to let you know he really did not steal it but it was a good story that many people believed?
The pack proceeded to break up and BONER was really getting wasted. He even had to run out the back door to enter the spew-a-thon contest that was caused by JUST STEVES shot. PRINCESS LABIA showed up and we wished her luck at the Volleyball game along with MOUNT SCHWIIINGA. ITS TOO SOFT, BONER and I took off for home after we said goodnight to the Hares. BONER and I picked up food and he stayed at my place but what was really funny was the program we watched on the BBC. Check it out if you have a chance. BONER was total enthralled with this show. SEE YOU ALL AND HAVE A GREAT TURKEY DAY. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/250/index.jsp
CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM
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Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Chicago OR Clark/Division 2) Bus 66 OR 70 west to Leavitt 3) Hoof it 2 blocks North OR 2 blocks south to Leavitt and Augusta
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Chicago OR Division 2) Bus 66 OR 70 west to Leavitt 3) Hoof it 2 blocks North OR 2 blocks south to Leavitt and Augusta
Driving
Street parking OK. Take the Blue line though...much nicer.
Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1517 @ Mad River
Hare(s): Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Mad River - 2909 N. Sheffield
Hash Cash: $6
Hash moved up to 12:30pm so we can watch the Bears play for a higher 2008 draft pick after the hash!
After the hash we can stay for more $6 pitchers of Bud Light for the Bears game or go somewhere else depending on what people are up for.
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, walk three blocks South on Sheffield between Oakdale & George
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, Belmont 77 bus East to Sheffield, walk three blocks South between Oakdale & George
Driving
Kennedy to Belmont, East to Sheffield, South to Wellington.
Note - mismanagement meeting at 12 noon sharp. All Chicago hashers who wish to help contribute to helping organize CH3 events or run the CH3 are welcome to attend.
Chicago HHH Fall 2007 MisManageMent Meeting Minutes
11/11/07 - Mismanagement Highlights
Thanks to all of those people who showed up or submitted information.
Present: Chicken Stiffer-GM, It's too Soft- WEB Master, Mouthful of Meat-Hare Razor, Just Rob, Horn-E, Rotten Whore, Lifa and Bloody Thighs
Budget-
1. After yesterdays meeting the CH3 has $1219in the bank.
2. We have made $500 so far from t-shirt sales. $750 in 2 years.
3. NO HASH TAX HAS BEEN COLLECTED FOR 3 MONTHS
ANTHRAX hash-DEC. 14-16
1. We have numerous Visitors cumming in over 40 hashers have paid already.
2. Main hash date is Dec. 15 with a pub-crawl the nigh before.
CALENDAR-
1. HASH BALL IS MARCH 1st save the date!!
2. Nov. 17th is BONER PARTY
3. DEC. 28th pub crawl in INDY
4. Jan. 19th is 500th hash in CINCINNATI
5. MARCH 15th is GREEN DRESS in St. Louis!
6. Memorial Day Hash is SUNDAY May 25,2008
7. Election nominations and voting will be Jan.-Feb. Each Hasher will get one vote per each hash attended during the year
HARE RAZOR – Batteries and Mouthful
1. Looking for a hares in December
2. Nice job keeping us with hares
WEB-DUDE SOCIAL DUDE.
1. ITS Too Soft is putting out the CH3 hareline.
2. Its Too Soft will work with Just Chris in making a new webpage designed to be more interactive for hashers. This page should be up before ANTHRAX!!
Haberdashery-
1. Order went in for new shirts.
2. Try and dri-knit shirts
3. If you have a T-shirt idea submit it and we can make a shirt out of it.
Hash Ball-
MARCH 1st, 2008 run by Rotten Whore and we are looking to have it at the Evanston American Legion Post. Could be very cheap
RA’s
1. Calvin wants to introduce one new song to the hash a month so please learn it.
New Business
1. Mismanagement listened to Horn-e’s proposed Chicago 30th Anniversary Weekend, and will discuss it after the ANHRAX hash is over. We have two Chicago major events to focus on before the proposed 30th date (6th Anthr@x and Memorial Day Hash) and also one shortly thereafter (PoP 
and as the Chicago HHH, Chicago HHH are obviously the first priority of MisManagement but will consider supporting other hashes' efforts on a resources available basis.
Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM
The Tale of the Trail – Chicago #1516 @ McKellin's
Hare(s): Lifa & Bloody Thighs (again!)
Venue: McKellin's - 2800 W Touhy, Chicago, IL
Hash Cash: $6
You thought last week's hash was up nort' this one's practically in 'sconsin. Speaking of which a few peeps are getting together to roadtrip to Madtown this weekend for Madison's 30th (see below for details or on the roadtrips page or email the GM).
Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Howard, Pace Bus #290 to Touhy & California (there are 1:50 and 2:10 buses from Howard Red Line that should get you there on time) or Brown Line to Western and Western #49 bus (runs every 10 mins that time of day on Sundays) North to Touhy, walk 4blks West to California.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Western, and Western #49 bus North to Touhy, walk 4blks West to California.
Driving
LSD North to Hollywood, Ridge Northwest to Clark/Broadway to Touhy, West on Touhy to California or Edens to Touhy, East on Touhy to California